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Date Posted: 10:14:48 05/28/07 Mon
Author: Sandy
Author Host/IP: adsl-146-162-151.clt.bellsouth.net / 72.146.162.151
Subject: Re: Question for the women here...
In reply to: Mikki 's message, "Re: Question for the women here..." on 09:22:14 05/28/07 Mon

Well, he's a nice person and I'm amazed at how many things we have in common. There is one problem though. Because my brother has worked with him for many years, he knows things about Joe's past that makes him think I shouldn't get involved with him and I work for my brother.

He told me this morning to do him a favor and please not get involved with Joe because Joe used to go to the bars and then talk about women he dated and had sex with. And he says Joe drinks every day. Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't. I do know he drinks some but he works every day and I haven't seen him drunk. And I wasn't planning to jump into a relationship anyway. And he says that Joe used to smoke pot and might still. Well, Joe did tell me that some of his friends smoke pot and on occasion he does so it's not like he is hiding that. He said he used to do it a lot more but now it's occasionally and he told me that without me asking.

He's a good guy in a lot of ways. He had a wife who died 2 years ago. She was sick for years and he took care of her right to the end. It had to be really difficult because it lasted so long but he hung in there when a lot of people wouldn't.

I don't believe in holding someone's past over their head forever because most of us have one. I believe in getting to know someone and seeing how they are yourself.

Of course he bragged about going to the bars and picking up women. That's what single guys do and at the time he bragged about it to Michael, he didn't know he'd ever want to date Michael's sister. He'd never met me.

It puts me in an odd situation. I want to get to know him but I can't tell him the stuff Michael has said about why I shouldn't because he might confront Michael. He considers Michael a friend and would probably feel bad to know that he's telling me not to date him so I think he'd ask Michael about it. And how do I tell him not to discuss me with Michael at all?

Hmm... going to have to do some more thinking.

What I don't like is the fact that Michael thinks that because I came to work for him he can run my life for me. He says he knows Joe better than I do and I should listen to him. But he knows Joe in a different way. Guys talk shit to each other all the time. Maybe Joe tells me thinks that Michael doesn't know. Maybe he shares a softer side of himself with someone if he gets involved with them. I do know he's the nicest guy I've met in years. I'm not looking to jump in. I'd like to get to know him slowly and see if there is anything there.

What is weird is before all of this, I was telling Michael one day that I'd like to just meet someone to go out with from time to time and Michael said, "well, I would say Joe but he used to have a drinking problem." Other than that I thought he liked Joe a lot...but evidently not as someone to date his sister.

The thing is I don't agree with everything Michael does but I don't get in his business. I'm 46 years old and don't need him in mine. And that wasn't part of the deal for me to come to work here. I didn't agree that by working here he'd have a license to run my life for me.

Because Joe thinks of Michael as a friend, he tells him that he likes me and wants to get something going with me. How do I tell him to stop talking to Michael about anything we talk about or whether we talk at all?

It's always something, right?

Sandy

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