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Date Posted: 23:35:59 06/08/06 Thu
Author: Sandy
Author Host/IP: 68-187-173-005.dhcp.hckr.nc.charter.com / 68.187.173.5
Subject: Pressure, guilt trips & the "woe is me" attitude

Those are three things I don't respond well to ....at all. First of all, it pisses me off when someone uses those as tactics to try to get me to do what they want. Secondly, I will avoid someone like that at all costs.

Why is it when you politely ask someone to back off and just be your friend, when they know you have a lot of stressful situations you're trying to deal with and you're already on edge...why can't they be nice and give you some space? Especially if you only ask for them to back off for a couple weeks, give you room to breathe and figure out how you feel about everything after you've resolved the stressful situation...

That's where I'm at right now. I cannot help that my cat got ill and had surgery and that I've been ran ragged for 3 weeks going back and forth to vet's offices. It's not like I've been enjoying it either. And I cannot help that Matt's truck broke down adding further stress to the situation because I had to haul him around until he got it back in addition to working and running back and forth to Hickory almost daily. And I cannot help that I was under the gun at work to complete the new price lists on all new products, convert them to wholesale, retail and designer and turn them into the printer. Nor can I help that 30 minutes after the printer picked them up, the president of the company brought me a bunch of changes to them and I had to call the printer, tell him not to start on them and to bring them back so I could change them. I wasn't thrilled but that's just the way it goes sometimes. The really irritating part is that it caused me to miss going out with friends at lunch for one of their birthdays. They went... I stayed and worked on the price lists...but it's ok. I'm a big girl. Still...for the past 3 weeks these and other situations that I will not go into here have stressed the hell out of me. And the way I deal with too much stress is to withdraw and when I am home I chill out and pretty much avoid everyone and everything until things calm down. A lot of that has to do with having ADD which is manageable but if too many things hit me at once it just makes me crazy.

So, was it really too much to ask for Gary (the guy at work I dated some and who wants to be more than my friend) to just back off for a while, let me deal with my issues, be just a friend and STOP PRESSURING THE HELL OUT OF ME???? Evidently he thinks so.

He has called and called every morning and night. He's in my office 2 to 3 times per day and when he's there all I hear is the "poor pitiful me" routine and how disappointed he is and how he doesn't understand and how he just wants to talk about it. I've asked him over and over to stop. I told him that the constant pressure wasn't making me want a relationship with me and that every time he pressured me or bitched at me it only made me more positive that I only want to be friends...if that. I told him he's making me resent the hell out of him because if he really cared about my feelings he'd understand that I've had a lot on me for the past 3 weeks and instead of pressuring me, he'd give me the space I asked for and let me take care of the things I'm dealing with without added stress.

He stopped by my house tonight. THE ONE NIGHT out of the whole freaking week that I don't have anything I have to do and I was looking forward to just chilling out....but oh no!!! He has to show up and wants to discuss things and tell me how hurt his feelings are and how he just doesn't understand and blah, blah, blah, blah. I told him I only had 3 hours sleep last night and I'm tired and it isn't a good time to discuss anything but did that stop him??? NO! I told him I refuse to get in an argument with him tonight so we both sat here in silence with the tv going for 30 minutes and then he left. Thank God!

I've tried ignoring him at work. I've tried not answering my phone. I've tried explaining how I feel. I've tried it all but apparently he's just not going to give up. I didn't want to end up enemies but he's driving me insane. If someone told me over and over to back off and then ignored me, I'd get the point!!

Oh well...I guess I needed to vent. I'm so frustrated I feel like I'm just banging my head into a wall. He irritates the shit out of me. I can't imagine trying to have a relationship with him or God forbid ever living together. I've gotten used to coming home to a quiet house where no one argues or bitches about anything. Matt is in his room a lot or gone and he and I never argue anyway. He's a pretty good kid.

I refuse to get into a relationship with someone who likes to argue all the time, someone who never considers anyone's feelings other than their own or someone who's going to be pressuring and badgering me all the time. No way! He didn't want to be with me until I started acting like I wasn't interested and now all of a sudden he wants to stick to me like glue. I'm feeling smothered. The thing is I thought we were just dating to see if we had anything but he thinks we have a relationship. Geez!!

I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed. Please God, make Gary leave me alone tomorrow.

On a good note... Toupe' is getting much much better now. I'll talk more about that later. I'm off to bed.

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