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Date Posted: 09:49:12 06/21/06 Wed
Author: Mikki
Author Host/IP: 68-188-189-246.dhcp.bycy.mi.charter.com / 68.188.189.246
Subject: Thanks Liz
In reply to: Liz 's message, "Re: An emotional poem I wrote" on 08:02:54 06/19/06 Mon

I know I am totally wracked out about this termination. It feels weird not going back there. I know there is no way that I could ever go back......our last session proved that to me 100%.

I've been asking every mental health professional that I know if they know someone that I could see. Someone who isn't afraid of bipolar disorder.I got some really good news yesterday. Jim King, is a therapist I see when I am in the partial hospital program. He is an MSW, and is one of those therapists that you can't help but listen to. He can get to me.......get in my face if necessary....and I can talk to him. He recently left the partial program to be the therapist on the psych floor. I saw him again when I was in for ECT in October.

My doctor told me he is going into private practice, and he even gave me his number. I pray that he will take me on, for he is someone I really respect and I know he can help me. I am going to have to drive 70 miles to see him, but thats ok.....it will be worth it. So keep your fingers crossed that I won't be too "high maintenence", or my old therapist hasn't said something about me. I have a feeling that he may have said something to his collegues about me and that is why I am having a hard time finding a therapist. Paranoid maybe, but I do know this guy.

So it would be great if I can get Jim. I want to be able to go every 2 or 3 weeks..just to have a safety net. I need a therapist when I am suicidal....plus that gives me another avenue into the hospital besides my doctor. I really pray that he will take me on. Then I can put the therapist from hell behind me. I am soooooooo angry at him, and I don't know what to do with that anger. I miss him, I hate him, I hate myself and don't know what to do without him. Hopefully a new therapist will help me get past that and on with my life.

Thank you for your advice and support.....

Love, Mikki

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