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Date Posted: Monday, October 17, 05:48:02pm
Author: Chris Smiely/Blooeysbabe
Subject: Congrats Chciago White Sox

Hi everyone

I'd like to celebrate the Chciago White Sox winning the 2005 American League Championship by postng the following facts about Chicago.

First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is
Shi-caw-go, assuming you live north of Roosevelt Road;
otherwise it's Chi-ca-go.

Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old,
throw it out and buy a new one. If in Naperville, and
your map is one day old, then it is already obsolete.

There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase
in Chicago. We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "I-94".. which has no
beginning and no end.

The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11. The evening
rush hour is from 2 to 8.

Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be
rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

When you are the first one on the starting line, count
to five when the light turns green before going to
avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red
light in cross-traffic (be prpared for lots of horns and
swearing from drivers behind you).

Construction on Northwest Tollway is a way of life and
a permanent form of entertainment.

We had sooooo much fun with that we have added the
Elgin-O'Hare and the I-355 to the mix. (Incidentally
the "Elgin-O'Hare" does NOT go to either Elgin or
O'Hare).

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase,
"Oh, we're in Cicero!" (or, Berwyn...)

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is
probably a factory defect.

Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators.

All old ladies with blue hair in Buicks or Caddys have
the right of way. Period.

A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum
of four hours.

Although many expressways (they are not freeways) have
posted speed limits of 55, the minimum acceptable
speed on expressways is 85. Anything less...get the
hell out of the left lane.

The wrought iron on windows in Englewood, Lawndale and
Austin are not ornamental.

The Congress expressway (Ike) is our daily version of
NASCAR.

If it's 100 degrees, it's "Taste of Chicago".

If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, it's opening
day at Wrigley.

If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Western
Open is in the second round.

If you go to Wrigley Field pay the $25.00 to park in
"Cubs Lot." Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500
for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc.

If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in
his yard, run......

Chicago, there's no place like it!

You know you're from Chicago if...
(and yes I can asure you I've all of hte following )

You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois and
become irate at people who do.

You measure distance in minutes.

Your school classes weren't canceled for less than a foot of snow.

Your school classes were canceled because of the cold.

Your school classes were canceled because of the heat.

You've ever had to switch from heat to "A/C" in the same day.

You carry jumper cables in your car.

You realize that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all
different roads.

You refer to any interstate highway as "the Tollway."

You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson,
Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan.

You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern
Illinois."

You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake".

No matter where you are, when you hear the term
"Downtown" you immediately assume they're talking
about Downtown Chicago.

You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and
anyone who beats the Packers.

You buy "The Trib."

You know what goes on a "Chicago" Hot Dog....and you
are permitted to shoot anyone who puts ketchup on a
hot dog.

You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.

You know the real reason they call Chicago "The Windy
City."

You understand what "lake-effect" means.

You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra.

You have ridden the "L."

You can distinguish between the following area codes:
847, 630, 773, 708, 312, & 815.

You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpets.

Let's Go White Six!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sorry Dara, 2004 was Boston's year , 2005 is for Chicaog)

Chris Smiley/Blooeysbabe

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