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Subject: Re: lost


Author:
Lilly from the Valley
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Date Posted: 10/01/07 8:51
In reply to: newy 's message, "lost" on 9/01/07 13:08

Hello Newy

Welcome to the Garden. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad at the moment. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time for you.

As Whitewolf says, there isnt much else to add to the good advice our Garden friends have already given. I can only reiterate that 'whats done is done'. NOTHING whatsoever can change that fact, so you have to move forward from that moment in time. It sounds like your actions were very out of character and there could be a number of explanations for that. You mention you get a lot of headaches - have you discussed this with someone medical? You dont mention whether the 'blackout' was a one off or whether it has happened before, particularly after taking alcohol. If this isnt being investigated, I would ensure that you see someone soon regarding this to get it checked out. You need to look after yourself as well as others.

I think writing the letter is a good idea. Your ex will be very hurt and full of emotion at the moment, particularly if she loved you deeply (you dont mention how long you have been together). If she truly knows you, she will realise that your actions were very out of character and once her wounds (I mean emotional ones) have healed, she may be able to look at the situation differently. Right now, it is too soon and I wouldnt recommend you see her without her request. This may take time to heal so you will need to be patient. You will need to prove to her that you feel terrible about what happened but that you want to do something about it and are seeking help and support.

Come to the Garden as often as you want Newy - Im sure you will already have realised what special people come here. None of us is perfect, we all have our problems and faults and EVERYONE makes mistakes - Ive made some real big ones in my time but I believe everything happens for a reason and although Im not saying we are meant to hurt anyone, sometimes a terrible event can lead to a journey of self discovery and even a new beginning.

Take care hun. You are in my thoughts.

BUA - Lil

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: lost


Author:
newy
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Date Posted: 10/01/07 9:15

you have all been so very kind in your words of wisdom. may i take the time to tell you a little of myself. i am a single parent of three children, 2 boys and 1 girl. i work part time as a tattooist. before i moved here 6 yrs ago, i had my own holistic practice offering, osteopathy, reflexology, indian head massage and triggerpoint accupuncture. i am 40yrs old ( and at the moment feeling older). my intrest in paganism originated through my ex, and i have been back and forth to the garden for around 6mth. the blackout was a one off. it is totally out of character and i was suppose to go for a head scan before i moved. dont want to babble to much but thank yuo all again for your kind words.

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