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| Subject: Re: grandad | |
Author: sweetsong | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 10/01/07 13:14 In reply to: sam spaniel 's message, "grandad" on 8/01/07 20:08 i feel like you too. my life feels full of losses but love never dies. (((((hugs))))) [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: grandad | |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12/01/07 16:48 thank you all so much for your support..... my dad has also suggested we have a garden for them (nan and grandad) by one of our ponds, with minutare roses, fuchias etc and all of their favorite plants growing in it.... we are going to buy a bench also in the spring time to put in their garden so, when i feel like it i can turn off my mobile and take my book or whatever there and be in my own haven 'with' them...we took a lot of their garden ornaments when we cleared the property, such as angel/garden faeries,animals etc and we're gonna put them there too, i feel them with me at times , but i still feel so lonely and if i do have a good laugh and a joke/night out or whatever then i kind of feel extra sad the next day... because i can't show them the pictures of the fun i had . i know i can tell them about it but i still want to hold them, feel them hold me and tell them one last bittersweet time that i love them so much... i never want to let them go..... i'm taking one of the roses i 'got' grandad for his birthday to the crem tomorrow, just to lay below 'their' tree, i'll say my words to them, maybe shed a few tears and then i'll say as my grandad always did....'see you when you're older' (i'll also be filling the peanut bird feeder we put there) and i'll go home..... but i feel i don't want to leave them there... it's so weired, i cant leave i would just stay there , under their tree, and listen to the goings on, see the people walking past , hear the birds, maybe even see the family of rabbits who have made their home just a few meters from where nan and grandad are..... but i don't want to leave them, to turn my back and drive away, i'd camp out and sleep there if i were allowed.... i feel like a weirdo... i believe there is something after death... a soul lives on, but where does all the love i have for them go now. i can't keep it all inside, i tell them every night that i love them in hope they will hear and smile at each other. i'm going on now, so i'll leave it there, i have so much floating around me i don't know what to do. and i can't really explain it to anyone.... jeez i'm a strange being!! love you guys and thank you so much xx Sam xx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |