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| Subject: can i ask for some advice please? | |
Author: samuel spaniel | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 23/10/07 17:04 hey all.... yup... i have another problem.... snowtiger has been shall we say- not very nice to me over the weekend, it was all going fine until we sat having a drink with a few of my mates on sunday evening, as soon as we left the pub, he started having a go at me about how i was acting with my friends, i was only being who i am and having a laugh and a joke with my friends. anyway after having a go at me he gives me his house keys, tells me to go and clear my stuff out of his room before he gets back and that he wanted me gone, so, in the dark, i walked through town on my own and got my stuff and left... i have spoken to him since, he is acting like nothing happened and he said he can't remember a lot of sunday evening. i told him i could and that's as far as it has gone..... meanwhile, for the last couple of weeks, i have been chatting to someone i 'met' on a forum i go on, he has called and text me and he chats to me on msn every noght of the week. we have shared stuff about each other that is quite personal to us both. we have arranged to meet at the weekend, just for a day, to see how we get along ( he lives about an hour and a half away)he's coming over to meet me from work, (so i'll have friends around) and i haven't given him my home address or anything.... when we talk on the phone he seems very genuine, he texts me while at work all the time. i really think i like him.... but i don't know if snowtiger has just driven me to attach myself to someone else.... it's all quite complicated, and really i don't know what to do, i find myself being moody toward snowtiger because of what has happened, then when my friend calls me, he makes me laugh and i'm all smiles for hours after. oh i just don't know where to go or what to do, meeting my friend on the weekend is just as friends to see how we get on with each other, so i am not cheating on snowtiger by seeing him. i don't want to hurt anyone, snowtiger will say sorry, as he has before, but i don't know how many more sorry's i can take without losing faith in our relationship altogether.... i know noone can help me, but i would be so grateful for some wise words from someone! love and blessings sad sam xxxx [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
[> Subject:  Re: can i ask for some advice please?
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Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 23/10/07 18:33 (((Hugs))) Sis... you probably know what I'm about to say on the SnowTiger matter lol... Just cos someone can't remember what they did (or says they can't) doesn't make it OK... if you put up with this now you'll be putting up with it forever... On the matter of meeting your new friend... well I hope everything turns out well for you honey, and it's about time you had something positive and happy just for you! Are you sure that him meeting you from work is the best place to meet? on the off chance that he's not all he seems, or you don't get on, do you really want him to know where you work? It's really only a small step away from knowing where you live. It's definately good to have friends around when you first meet him :) sorry... I'm just being over-cautious, I know you can take care of yourself... (((hugs))) On both matters : be safe and be true to yourself. :) Blessings x x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 23/10/07 20:27 thank you lovely yeah, i might suggest somewhere close to work rather than work itself! yeah i know how you feel about the snowtiger thing.... and i haven't heard anymore from him so i'm still guessing he doesn't really care about the way he treated me. i'm defo gonna meet up with my friend, see how it goes for the day and just go from there... just on msn to him now, he said how much he enjoyed our phone conversation today, and as a plus he has 5 cats (lol) one of which is brain damaged from birth and another he (with the one with brain damage) raised from 3 days when their mum rejected them... awwwww anyway, will let you know how things are going. love sam x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/10/07 18:05 i did it..... i split up with snowtiger..... in a way i feel like the weight of the world is lifted , but in another way i am scared of what he might do to 'get' at me. he's packing my stuff as we speak and is just gonna leave it in the shed to be collected. in the mean time i called 'silverback' (that's his real nickname)Ray, and told him everything. he said he is happy to come down here anytime the tiger gives me grief. we are definatley meeting on saturday, and on the phone are getting along like we have always known each other.....when i asked him what he wanted to do on saturday after he got down here , he answered 'i just want to see you. that's what i'm coming down for, we'll just sort the rest out as it happens, but the reason i'm visiting is to see you, so that's all that matters' sweet. i feel happy, but in the same sence i feel worried, because i worry about what snowtiger might do to try to get to me, like damaging my car/ house etc ..... he has done these sorts of things before, and i am so worried he might try hitting me with it too. i don't think i'm gonna sleep well tonight, partly from being anxious, partly from being excited.... ooh mixed emotions, but at least i have the first hurdle over and i can hope for a better future. love to you all Sam x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Wolfsdream [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/10/07 18:39 Well Sam, good for you. I'll keep my fingers crossed things go well for you and you have no problems. Best of luck. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 26/10/07 11:39 he text me last night to ask if it was over..... i just ignored the text.... did i do the right thing? [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: heather [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 26/10/07 21:30 Oh Sam, if i was an agony aunt and reading this my advice would be.......move on. Easy for me to say i know, it sounds to me that you have carried this man for long enough, and trust me when i say it never gets better, the abuse. So do something for you and live your life. Maybe its time. I always think things come along when you need them. Take it all slowly, but do it for you. As for the fear of repercussions all i can tell you is to keep up your guard, i always found the best thing to do was no contact at all otherwise there is always a situation of trying to talk you into something (moods can change very quickly, not always nice either). I wish you all the best in the world honey, be strong, be safe and be happy, love you, heather.xxxxx P.S. I love this quote: LIFE.......... Life is NOT a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well-preserved body. Better to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, favourite drink in the other, body used up, totally worn out & screaming ‘YES! what a ride! P.P.S. Always trust your gut instinct too! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Pilgrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 26/10/07 22:54 I can't add any advise that hasn't already been said so I will light a candle for you and send some good energy your way. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 27/10/07 10:56 thank you all for your advice, haven't heard from snowtiger.... i'm off to meet Ray shortly... ooh i can't wait i feel really positive about this, i'm already enjoying a good weekend of fredom xx sam [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Pilgrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 27/10/07 13:14 Have a wonderful time. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel (wahooooo!!) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 28/10/07 14:28 hi all!! i think my life has just changed over night !! lol i had a wonderful time with Ray yeasetday, we got lost in Cambridge, and wandered aimlessly around, went for a drink and chatted and chatted and chatted..... he is amazingly polite, courteous, loving, and just really layed back and chilled. oh and we went in to this park, just after dark were sitting on this bench, and Ray suddenly said 'what the h*ll is that'!!! i turned around to see a cow standing just a few feet away, we went over and petted it and shortly after we were surrounded by about 7 of them!! all friendly.... we even names one 'milka' lol.... they were so sweet and we sat and watched them for what must have been almost an hour !! it was such a random, surreal day in all, and we really enjoyed each others company.... we will be getting together again, and he said next time we'll find him somewhere to stay close by so he can spend the weekend wothout having to bike home in the bad weather .... he lives 2 hours away.... anyway i'll stop going on.... although i could go on and on forever!! oh and i still haven't heard from ST so that's good!! love sam xxxxxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 28/10/07 16:13 i spoke too soon..... ST just text, saying he misses me and he is sorry for upsetting me!!! i have now turned off my mobile phone! he has waited a whole week to say sorry..... too late!!! i have to be hard now coz if i'm not, then i'll just end up back there again, and that i don't want!! love y'all sam xxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 28/10/07 19:23 You can do it Sam, have faith. Rock n Roll all nite, party every day.....lovl. Newy [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Wolfsdream [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 28/10/07 19:43 Good to hear your day went so well Sam. Oh...and a new sim card(and new mobile number)don't cost that much these days! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 28/10/07 21:22 HEY NEWY honey..... lovely to see you back in the garden lovely...... and wolfsdream, yes i can actually block contacts from my mobile but i don't want to have to do it unless i really have too!! i have my mobile on again now, and no more messages from ST!! yay, and i have spoken to Ray and he is all enthusiastic about coming back!! and i just can't wait, because after such a wonderful day yesterday, i really missed him today love and blessings sam xxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 3/11/07 23:10 update..... i am still recieving regular texts and calls/voicemails from ST .... telling me he won't give up until i go back to him.... i am still ignoring them.... today he text me asking for me to go back in to his life because he is breaking down without me there!! still.... too late !! Ray... (lol) and I are getting on really well, he's coming back hopefully within the next 2 weeks.... he is an absolutley wonderful man, a sweetheart, and when i tell him about the probs with ST he calls to make sure i am ok. his ex is pretty much the same as ST, so he has had and still has the same sort of probs as me, so we have kind of put all cards on the table with each other and try to support each other on down days !! he has also said he would like to strongly consider moving to this part of the country sometime in the future... hmmmm sounds like a plan to me lol take care all blessings and love to all sam xxxxxxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 4/11/07 13:48 I'm so happy to hear you and Ray are getting on well (he looks a sweetie) - and ST, he had his chance! you stay strong and safe honey. x x x (((hugs))) x x x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 4/11/07 17:30 thank you WW xxxxx am staying strong..... ray and i have been msn-ing all day!! lol.... between mobile phones and pc's too lol we're never far apart!! and he said he wants to meet my dad !!! there's a nice young man for ya!! lol blessings to all love you sis sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 7/11/07 22:28 hello all.... had the worst day.... i got so stressed out with s.t. literally threatening and harrasing me that i broke down and got sent home from work, i had to go to the police to make a statement, they have told me if it happens again, gets worse or as soon as it becomes uncomfortable , i have to contact them and they will take actions, that's all i can say for now, what with this being a public forum and all....if it hadn't been for ray today on the end of the phone keeping me talking and keeping me going, i really don't think i would have made it.. love sam x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 8/11/07 2:49 You did the right thing getting the police involved sis (((hugs))) and know that we stand with and around you whenever you need us. Soothing energies - get some rest and take care of yourself. * Strength and Protection * [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: zenwind [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 8/11/07 8:36 That is horrible Sam. *big hugs* Take care lovely zw /\ [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Wolfsdream [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 8/11/07 12:43 I'm sorry to hear things have got uncomfortable for you Sam, but I'd like to go along with WW comments 100%. At least it sounds as if you have someone(Ray) to be there for you and support you. Wishing you the best. Wolfie. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Pigrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 9/11/07 16:51 How are things now Sam? [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 9/11/07 19:37 he is still calling and texting me, i feel if i don't want to get the police involved , i need to meet up with him as he wishes, and tell him for sure that things are over between us and they will not return to the way they were however much he may want it to. i plan to go over there sometime next week, i'll stay strong and tell it to him like it is. i just hope it works thank you for your concern love sam xxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Dragonlady [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/11/07 20:53 I would be careful Sam if you are going alone to meet him. I am sure he wouldn't hurt you but if he has already been threatening and harassing you to the point that the police have been involved, please be very careful. Personally I wouldnt go but of course it is your choice. Dragonlady [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12/11/07 11:32 Cut off time Sam.... Break away.... Have to go with Dragonlady on this one. Promise to catch up wid ya soon. Take care hun. Newy love lite and rainbows [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12/11/07 12:20 Ditto what has already been said by Dragonlady and Newy... and if you're going to meet up with him for closure, I definately wouldn't go alone (((hugs))) Be Safe x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Earth-Fire [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14/11/07 15:01 Oh Sam i missed the last update. Please don't go over to see him, you did the right thing getting the police involved hun. The last thing you should do is see him face to face :( [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14/11/07 23:11 i've had numerous calls and messages from him over the last 2 days.... it came to the crunch when this afternoon, he text me asking if i can give him some money to help him get by for the next week....erm.... i phoned him to ask why the h*ll he was expecting i would give him money.... he told me, he had to buy a new mobile phone . as he lost his the night we split up, and he couldn't really afford it, but it was the only way he could keep in touch with me, therefor he 'wondered' if i could help him pay for the phone.... ha haaaaa!! i don't think so! i was quite non challont with him on the phone, he said i sounded cold and heartless and compared me with my mother who left with all mine and my dads money 13 years ago never to be seen again, he said that's where i get my emotionless cold heart from, i just said ok,and that there comes a time in life when one has no choice but to be cold and heartless with some people, so that's the way i am! then he had the cheek to say 'i'll leave it to you whether you drop some miney by or not'!!! the phrase 'reverse pshycology' calls to me there!! and i'm not going to fall for it! on the upside!! and it's a great upside..... Ray is coming down for the weekend on saturday! and i can't wait!! YAY!!! i'll off for now love Sam xxxxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16/11/07 7:07 ok back to the police station yesterday as he text me saying he had reported to my works and to police that i have stolen stuff from work (which is a lie) , i discussed it with the police and my manager and my manager said i have nothing to worry about, then last night, he text me and said today will be the last day that i will have a job. so i have warned my colleague about it but really there's absolutely nothing i can do about it. Damn him. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16/11/07 15:59 and now Ray can't come down, because his bike is broken and he needs to order parts for it.... i offered to go there but he said he needs the time to spend on his bike and althought he'd love to see me he wants to spend quality time with me not have to share the time with me and his bike!! fair play!! he is though, coming next weekend, hopefully on friday til sunday!! love sam (oh and i haven't lost my job yet!!) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel (ARRRGHHHH!!!) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17/11/07 19:42 just had a voicemail from ST....demanding that i take his stuff over tomorrow, and collect my stuff because otherwise he is going to make lives a misery. he said he has also reported me for drug dealing within my place of work.... and has named a friend of mine as the reciever..... which is well out of order!! so i'm off to the police for this.... if i have to pay for something i haven't even done, then he's gonna have to learn the power of karma!!! i need your strength for tomorrow xx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17/11/07 22:04 ok I'm back.... he phoned me left a message to say you better call back otherwise things are going to get bad.... so,i called back..... he said he has completed statements to the police saying i stole from work, and deal drugs to other staff members!!! he said he hates me and he is going to destroy me no matter what it takes.... ok it worries me a bit, but I'll go to the police station on Monday and get them to slap a harassment order on him.... i can't be doing with this any more.... he said once i have lost my job, my career and my life, i will know the pain i am putting him through. then he told me that no one will love me as much as he does! huh!! help!! don't know what to do next love sam xx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Wolfsdream [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18/11/07 9:27 Hi Sam...well, for one thing if he really loved you he would let you go and be happy for you. He would want to see you happy and not be trying to hurt you. By the sound of things your doing everything right. Go back to the police..tell them the whole story and tell your bosses at work the whole thing to...let them all know whats going on so if ST does try to make trouble your covered....although is sounds like that is just what you've done. I know it's easy to say, but try to stay strong...and remember you have friends here who are wishing you well.... oh, and keep thinking about seeing Ray next weekend to.. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19/11/07 0:37 Beautiful Sam - I'm sorry things are not getting any better yet... and I'm also concerned about something - is ST likely to be coming into the Garden and reading any of your comments? I do worry about the public-ness of the Garden... [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19/11/07 15:36 there is no risk what so ever of ST coming to the garden, i will go as much as to garante (sp)it !! i went round today.... took his stuff.... collected mine.... we talked, i gave him the answers he wanted, he wants to get me back but i told him i am not prepared to go back in to a relationship with him, we talked some more and he said all the stuff he had told me he had done, he had not, as he didn't want to hurt me. i still don't trust him, but i do feel a lot better now he might just leave me alone. love to all xxx's sam x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 28/11/07 19:29 update!!! i'm still getting the odd call/ text from ST..... but today i just got back from..........................................................DUN DUN DUUUUN!!! Ray's !! yay..... i ventured for the first time ever in to the unknown world of motorway driving for 3 and a half hours!!! to land on his doorstep to a huge lovely cuddle!!! (it was worth it just for that!!) we watched DVD's, listened to loads of music!!! (we have exactly the same taste in music!!) and generally enjoyed each others company! it was wicked! we went to a place where you can see the whole of the west midlands from this hill, and it looked so beautiful all lit up in the dark!! (if that makes sense) .... i ended up staying the night purely out of driver exhaustion!!! and i drove home today (at 0630 to get to work for 10, and i'm still here...... and missing him more every minute!! :o( but hopefully it won't be long 'til we meet up again!! yay!!! i'll leave it there for now... love and blessings...from a loved up Sam XXX [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 28/11/07 20:44 awww... glad to hear you had a lovely time Sam. (((hugs))) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Pilgrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 29/11/07 16:45 Sounds wonderful! Glad you were able to get out and have fun. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |