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| Subject: Re: hurt again | |
Author: Pilgrim | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 25/01/07 16:26 In reply to: sweetsong 's message, "hurt again" on 22/01/07 9:52 Wow! What wise words Rowan. Very well written. On the subject of honesty being cruel or not.... I have a friend who used to be very fond of the expression "The truth can be cruel." Usually said after they had said something completely offensive to someone. One day they were telling me about how they had said such and such to so and so and then said "The truth can be cruel." I couldn't take it any more and said, " The truth is never cruel. It is person telling the truth that is being cruel. Truth can almost always be worded in such a way that it is not cruel." An example of this is when my wife and I went looking for her a dress for a special occasion. I had watched her try on many outfits and come out to show me with an expression on her face that said NOTHING LOOKS GOOD ON ME. Then she tried on one that I thought was not very pretty. She came out beaming with excitement and said:"How do I look!?" I really didn't like the dress. But she was so excited and I could tell she thought it looked wonderful. So I said: "You look beautiful!" And SHE did. Her face was smiling, her posture was confident. She was glowing. Every time she wore that dress I focused on how wonderful she felt and not the fact that I personally didn't like the dress. Now thinking back on it I think it was my favorite dress she has ever had. I could have been brutally honest about the dress but chose instead to be very honest about how she looked in the dress. Sorry I went on so long but I think it is important that we be as careful with how we are honest as we are with being honest. Pilgrim [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: hurt again | |
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Author: Rowan [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/01/07 17:50 Pigrim - reading your posting I almost cried! To be so heart-centred in your love is an inspiration to me. Your wife is truly blessed to have you in her life :) Actually on the way home tonight I was mulling over what I had written (as you do!) and came back in here to say to Sweetsong that I hoped I hadn't come over as preachie and holier than thou .... it is always easier advising others than giving ourselves that same advice. Maybe that's because we are not so constricted by the confines of our emotions when trying to help another. Believe me, i struggle with staying heart-centred and loving every day of my life. Only recently I felt bad because i was unkind to someone I love dearly through no fault of their own. I was aware at the time what i was doing but because I was feeling stressed and tired, i took it out on them. That doesn't excuse me in the least, but I just want Sweetsong to know, so it might help her to see that when people are being hurtful, it is often due to their own issues and weaknesses, rather than any reflection on herself. I did beat myself up about it for a while - you see, not taking my own advice again, LOL - and it took the wise words of a friend to ease up on myself. Like I said before, we all mess up now and then - all we can do is keep on forgiving ourselves and each other and remember that despite the bad bits, there are also many beautiful and wonderful things to enjoy on this journey of ours :) Rowan x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |