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| Subject: how do you view friendship? | |
Author: sweetsong | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 7/02/07 17:01 after the counselling sesion i felt strongeer so i told my friend the issue and how hurt i have been (the one who did not have me as bridesmaid and now has new bezzy mate) and she told me to stop being such a 'needy' person and that she can be a friend but she does not want us living in each others pockets. she said my raction was unfair. i am not upset am glad i know where i stand. the friendship is on her own terms only. it seems it is not what it htought it was. finally maybe i am learning. the bridesmaid thing should have been a big enough sign but no i refused to admit it. so just wondering how do you guys view friendship. what makes a friend to you and what makes just an acquaintence? are all friendships the same or do they differ? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: how do you view friendship? | |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 7/02/07 17:11 Hi Sweetsong. Maybe I'm not the person to jump in on this, as I have lost my partner as she chose her best friend over me.. Wot I would say is that all friendships differ. See my best mate would never come before my partner, but we are there for each other if needed. My ex's best friend is a man (think things would have been diff, if he was a female) Probably wont help, but think you get wot I'm saying.....Hopefully.x Newy [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 7/02/07 17:20 "See my best mate would never come before my partner, but we are there for each other if needed." see this is where i get confused!! spiritually i try to love all family and friends equally and know that blood is not thicker than water family taught me different but i am learning what i think. but i would feel funny putting someone over someone else completely but also it is nice to feel special. i would treat a partner with a love that is more sensual but the love might be simlar for a best friend just different. in my path i want to not make some people special cases. it seems to go against what i feel the universe is. harmonious togetherness. but at the same time i want special friendships. confusing and hypocritic! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 7/02/07 17:26 Think you have just answered your own question there Sweetsong, wot you have just said makes perfect sense to me. Only problem I had was that to me, my partner was my kindred spirit, my muse and my soul mate. gona hurt for a long time.. but I'll get by with the help of my friends.... Newy [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 7/02/07 17:28 i am sorry you have been hurt. *hugs* you will get through it special person xx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: gaiangrub [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 7/02/07 19:10 years ago i bought my friend a card when she was just entering in on a big crush on a man she has a little one with but is no longer "with" the card said something like "love may make the world go around but friends keep you from flying off" she was not happy at the time but years later we had a good laugh about it [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Ash [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 7/02/07 19:51 I know we had a few words before sweetsong, but I think it is just soul types. I am like your friend, myself and my friends are very solitary people. We enjoy each others company, but we spend more time alone doing our own thing that with each other. I think maybe if you try to mix two personality types that are really different, one being a lonewolf and one being a packwolf then it might not work. Besides, if you get too close to people it just makes it hurt alot more when they leave. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 8/02/07 10:54 thanks ash!! is helpful what you said and made me think that perhaps i am attracted to thoughtful intreverted types as they are so different to me (i am a bit loud and dominating insecure maybe)? but as an extorverted type i expect them to want to be around me lots socially and then get hurt when they don't want me to call/text/go out all the time. bit of a dillema as party people also don't satisy me mentally but they are there for me socially. OH NO!!! and yes it does hurt when people leave and everybody does in the end!! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: gaiangrub [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 8/02/07 17:27 u r smarter than you think Sweetsong consider that people are different as are your needs. perhaps cognitively recognizing this you can protect yourself from hurt by knowing what to expect from certain types of personalities. hoping 4 ur happiness gaiangrub [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: zenwind [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 8/02/07 18:02 Hi The lack of words to actually describe my relationships to people can be a little bit frustrating! Saying that labels do my head in anyway so maybe I should just not speak....tee hee however...... Varies person to person. I love to see friends be their true selves around me and then our friendship develops accordingly to our own natures together, evolving over time.....evolving uniquely between the two of us and our needs to keep us safe and happy together. It does not make sense to me really to have a 'best' friend as that could involve comparisons and it seems impossible to me to compare people who are unique unfolding manifestations of life. And could never compare people I love. There are no degrees in love. And at least from my viewpoint I am not sure the universe works on comparisons either. Caveat to that am content to use the term best if meaning 'close' friend. I know it means a lot to some of my friends to use the term 'best' and I understand that. Again, it is a person to person thing. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12/02/07 10:21 wish i had the attitdue of you guys. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |