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Date Posted: 11:13:49 12/03/02 Tue
Author:
Subject:

ABBY NORMAL

----
.......Bless me Father.........For I have sinned: -- Abby Normal
And these are my sins:

---I secretly hoped that Bud would slip and fall down those stairs and break his neck once and for all..

---I found myself hoping that CB will get as big as the "Hindenburg" if she mentions on ET one more time about "something is going to happen between Harm and Mac" and nothing ever happens !!!!

---That if there is one more Harriet/Bud nookie scene, I found myself praying that Meredith will cook both of them a fish dinner.

---Had impure thoughts that Harm would chuck that video, grab Mac and give her a little "wall therapy." Would have loved to have them show up at the inquiry with the tape, not having seen it as they were way too busy, alone in Harm's apt, pulling an all nighter-- wild monkey sex orgy...

---Hoped and prayed that Singer was transported back in a time machine and was part of the crew of the "Angel Shark"

---Hoped and prayed that Sergei is gay...
-----


AMYLYNN

I was so preoccupied thinking of him this morning that I forgot to finish washing my hair.
AmyLynn, CCC


CATMOM

-----
"THIS JUST IN TO ZNN"
Author: Stuart Dunston
Subject: The Story

While awaiting my new cameraperson at the airport--the first one slipped in a puddle of Fosters, broke the camera and his ankle--I happened upon a strange site.

There in the baggage claim area, was a short, chubby blonde woman dressed in black. Well, mostly black, there seemed to be a lot of, well, it looked like animal fur clinging to her outfit. And she was holding a potato. Yes, your average, Idaho baking variety potato. A very large potato.

Naturally, being the intrepid reporter I am, I had to ask WHY? She replied that she had 'no comment' and that it was too bad that Harmy hadn't gotten me a longer term.

YES, I knew it then, I had come into contact with one of the elusive and secretive HARMYLADIES! Since I knew an interview was out of the question, these ladies having sworn to keep secret--except from other same-obsessed women--their singleminded devotion to that arrogant ambulance chasing flyboy, I hung back to watch. **NOTE-Hey, the guy tries to kill my stories and he almost managed to put me in jail. You think we're buddies???**

Something curious then occured. Another woman, carrying copious amounts of luggage, walked up to the potato carrying lady. "CATMOM!" she cried. "SPUD!" the potato-carrier replied. This was getting very strange. Perhaps they were code names and the potato was one of those bizaar recognition signs.

I decided to follow. They drove around seemingly aimlessly for almost an hour. I later learned that north, south, east and west are just 'suggestions' to the woman known as Catmom, who seems to rely on a strange sense of direction known as 'I'm sure it's that way.' (It wasn't).

In any event, the two eventually found a likely eating place, after searching in vain for someplace that served 'Canadian food.' (Go figure).

Apparently, I had stumbled upon a secret Harmyboard summit meeting. The items on the agenda seemed to be something on the order of (1)the lack of nekkid Harmkins (2)Commander Winkie being in danger of wilting from lackofuse. (3)Who did the Colonel's hair? (4)What moron thinks that people want to look at a half nekkid Bud, and ick on the Bud and Harriet smoochie scenes (5)When are they going to just DO IT already???

Unfortunately, there did not seem to be any agreement on just when any of these weighty issues would be resolved. It was determined that the woman know as 'SPUD' would be leaving the country the next day, though if the reasons for her travel were Harm-less or not were not known. The 'CatMom' person said that she needed to pick up someone known as DH, and was hoping that she still recognized him.

All in all, an interesting sidelight to the coverage of my major story. Perhaps an in-depth investigation of these woman and their singleminded obsession with the obsessed Commander Rabb would be in order. But right now, I have the finals of the wet t-shirt contest to cover.

(CatMom's note, Spud and I had a great time, even though I got us sortofkindalost. Hey, who knew the hotel was NORTH of the airport? Hopefully, she will have a great time on her cruise, and not be affected by any of the bad luck some cruisers have had lately.)
-----

The winner gets to take TFM and Harriet to her favorite hairdresser for a re-do of the do's. The loser has to take Singer shopping for maternity clothes. -- CM>^.,.^<

PPS Tell Mac that no, chocolate really doesn't substitute for sex, at least not for as long as she has gone without. The Washington Wenches have a list of local BOB shops if she is interested. CM>^.,.^<


I could take her if (1)she were a good looking guy and (2)she lost the freakin' accent!!!! I really hope you are right, RDOL! -- CM>^.,.^<, (speaking of Manetti)

Was the machine drooling afterwards, or did it just lean back and smoke a cigarette???? -- CM>^.,.^<, (In response to: Take it to Wal-Mart and use the Kodak machine. LOL -- Trish...it worked for my DJE triathalon pics )



CARROTS

Oh, thanks- I didn't hear that part. My mind musta gone running off on it's own tangent. -- Carrotts, oh Harm I've got some, uh garments that just won't fit......, After wondering why DJE licked NC’s finger and the response from AmyLynn explaining it was because her ring wouldn’t go on.)



CAVEWOMAN

Webb in that-insignificant-South-American-country discovers Harm Sr. living with yet another young woman and seven children (that she claims are his) and after Harm Sr. dies in yet another tragedy, Webb feels obligated to tell Harm, and Harm feels obligated to care for the "widow" and the children. Harm's newly discovered sister, Mac - from Harm Sr/Jenny, begins living with him to help care for the children. Meanwhile, back at JAG HQ, Manetti and Sturgis start a torrid affair after Bobbi dumps Sturgis for someone with more political clout. Bud and Harriet have triplets – for AJ and Meredith. (NT) -- CaveWoman - anything to lighten up Lu :-),

Here I am replying to my own message (I learned from the best). I meant Harm in action - not just anyone (if I see more anything of B&H, I will gag) but if is gets us more Harmikins I'm definitely not complaining. And hey, a character's orientation has very little effect on the degree of perceived sexiness (and just plain fledge 'em - ness) as far as I'm concerned. Hilarious post though from SD because I had that thought earlier... Hey waitaminute - didn't the HB do the whole Harm is gay thing a long time ago - the thing with the SturgisKiss???. – CaveWoman



CECE

-----
I hate to say this but I detect a conspiracy between TPTB and the RDOL. Here is my evidence. – Cece

Have you noticed the similarities between JAG's new character Manneti and the HB's relatively new poster, Manette.

Manetti wears a hat.

Manette wears a hat.

Manetti is a friend of Secnav, whose position is high as the blue sky.

Manette is a freind of Trish, whose posts are as blue as the high sky.

Manneti is cute with dark hair.

Manette is cute with dark hair.

Manneti is from one of the southern states.

Manette is from one of the southern states.

Manneti appears in front of Harm dressed only in a towel.

Manette dreams she appears appears in front of Harm dressed only in a towel.

Manneti is trying to replace Mac in JAG by dubious niceness.

Manette is trying to replace me on the HB by dubious niceness.

And if those reasons aren't enough for you, well just look at the cleverly disguised name. Ha...I could see through that clever subterfuge.

So what do you think...is there a conspiracy going on?
-----


Ohhh,,,,I thought it meant While torpid strumpets dangled moribund fairies. Gee...well that was the most obvious meaning. Dracner, I have missed you! Love the meaning of HARM! -- cece....Harm difficient, but even a little is sufficient (In response to CATMOM’S Acronym: WTSDMF.)

Happy Birthday HarmyBoard!!!! -- Cece and manette: The HarmyBoard Birthday Video

And then there is the mystery of Singer's impregnator....LOL. Oh PLEASE let it be the old SecNav!! I don't want it to be Sergei, unless Sergei isn't Harm's brother (now THAT would be interesting!) ~ Cece

I don't know..it just seems so unfair to flesh out one character to the exclusion of all others. And I still contend that the constant focus on his stub...and the sex problems of amputees is voyeuristic. Yes it's voyeuristic to want to see Harm in a romantic sexual encounter, but we would watch that for the sheer erotic pleasure...or maybe I'm just projecting....LOL! Give me sex or give me death (didn't Napoleon say that? Or was it something I heard on Animal Kingdom?0 Cece

Harm..the pilot/lawyer, and his partner Mac...the troubled lawyer/marine, have been totally neglected in a series that is supposed to be centered on them.
At least that was the original premise. Perhaps that has changed to be JAG PEOPLE:Their Trials and Tribulations. Cece

-----


http://dgl.microsoft.com/previews/BD08/BD08684_(p).gif Tonight on CBS 8 p.m. Don't miss *BUD* -- Cece (Ignor the post below. I screwed up and am trying to delet it..acck),

This is an exciting show Naval JAG lawyer, Lt. Bud Roberts, his lovely blond wife, Lt. Harriet Simms, and their adorable child, Little AJ. In past seasons, we watched Bud as he learnt to become a lawyer, helped along by two minor character, Harm and Mac. Bud meets and falls in love with Ensign Simms, and we watch as she explains to her rich parents that she is going to marry a poor junior officer.

Harriet's mother is somewhat shallow, as she much prefers Harm, the good looking combat pilot turned lawyer. But of course, Harriet has eyes for only Bud. In one rivetting episode of *BUD* after another, we have watched
our hero date, and make out on the beach, and then get married in a big-deal ceremony. Then Harriet gets pregnant and joy abounds in the office. And when she has the baby on the floor at JAG HQ, the Admiral...another supporting character, delivers the baby and it is all..OH so cute! And Bud is adorable getting stuck in the elevator, and trying his best to be by Harriet's side.

We see the heartbreak Bud and Harriet must endure when they lose their second baby at birth, and we hear of Harriet's earlier teenage pregnancy, her miscarriage, and her trouble with vaginal infections, all of which she has kept from Bud. Oh and there is Bud's little brother Mikey, who we have seen grow from being a troubled youth to having a promising career in the navy. And it is so wonderfully cute that everyone still calls him Mikey!

And then there is Big Bud, who, though he is an abusive, loud-mouthed, totally uncaring, mean and rotten father, has underneath, a heart of gold. To see the big lug belatedly supporting his sons is oh so heart warming.

This last season has been enthalling as we see Bud struggle with his weight, run in JAGathon race, and finish with a little help from the senior JAG staff..who all adore him. We get to see Bud's indecision about accepting a promotion, and Harriet's bravery in encouraging him. And of course, he and Harriet go off to make love again. And when sweet Harriet buys a house without telling Bud, fooling the simpleton Harm in the process, we just know she is doing it for her sweety. We watch as she emasculates Bud by borrowing off her rich father so she can have the big house and big tv that she and Bud could never afford on their joint incomes. Lol...she is so feisty and sweet. We can't help but love her...and so does our HERO!

And when Bud loses a leg ... we see his stub in full coloured detail ..ever week over and over. And see him struggle physically, and mentally as he tries to regain his manliness and security as a husband. And we witness the enduring pleasure of his open mouth kiss with Harriet! The shippers were swooning.
Oh and so much more on *BUD*. There is one problem with the constant interruption of Bud's story lines by the other characters, Harm and Mac, but it's not too bad as we never get to know anything much about their lives outside of the courtroom. Of course there was that one terrible episode where Harm and Mac took nearly all the focus off Harriet's promotion and Bud's endearing mishaps, by having a protracted conversation on the Admiral's porch, which ended in a kiss that lasted 18 seconds. But that was ok, because they ended the episode with a wonderful moment with AJ announcing Harriet's promotion to great joy and applause.

Yes..tune into *BUD* tonight and watch the excitement as Bud negotiates the staircase...this week he has to find a way DOWN the stairs!!!!! 6 GLAS
-----



CHARS

My cable company has chosen to NOT provide us with an affiliate who airs ET. So, yet again, I am forced to grovel at the feet of the Screen Cap Queens to get my dose of that fine specimen of a man! -- CharS--maybe I should start deducting my shippershrink charges from my cable bill! That'll teach 'em!,



CROSBY

Boy oh MAN we got some comediharms on this board today—thanks to TPTB for providing us with the content to wax the banister and keep stubble out of bed—although Mac’s not getting any lovin either. Gosh, I feel for Harriet…And I don’t think it’s just Bud that’s a horndog—my husband would risk his limb-- and does beg for sex …(did I just say that???oops)…I think Harm is the only man I have ever heard of that likes to play with his rally monkey by himself. SHARE THE MONKEY, MISTER—Good GRIEF you need some APEn love session. -- Cros,







DANCER

It may have shut down the "higher" functions, but my "lower" ones are working juuuussssttttfine! -- Dracner - can I have a towel, please?, (In response to: I suppose that the completely normal physical reaction to this video has caused my higher brain functions to shut down -- CaveWoman)



JAGIN

My Harmy’s fly’s up in the office ... My Harmy’s fly’s up on the sea ... My Harmy’s fly’s up in the aircraft,... But opens at home here with me. ) -- JAGin ... dancin', singin' , and diggin' that tune,




JERSEY GIRL

To do it, or Not to do it: Harmlet 1/3 -- Jersey Girl: With apologies to Billy Shakespeare,

To do it, or not to do it: that is the question:
Whether 'tis wiser to entwine in the buffer

The slings and outrageous e-mails of angry shippers,
Or to take Harm in a bath of bubbles,

And by opposing TPTB? To cry: to weep;
No more; and by a season 8 to say we end

The heart-ache and the hundred unmatched socks
That flesh is bare to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To ask why, to wait for ratings sweep;
To sleep: perchance for steamy dreams: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of heavy breath what dreams may come.......



JOSIE

LMAO-------you forgot to include Manetti in your time machine.It should have been Harm and my Webb on that fencing match.Oh heck,Harm and Mac were watching porn.DJE said *kinky* on ET.And he added not to miss next week as we watch Harm stand up to Mac! Memo to Cmdr.Winkie -- Josie (In response to Abby’s, “---Hoped and prayed that Singer was transported back in a time machine and was part of the crew of the "Angel Shark"”)




JUDI

-----
I finally found out why Harm isn't allowed to take off his shirt. The US Congress passed a law against it. Let me explain. -- judi doing her research

First of all, all the women's groups on both sides thought even a fully clothes Harm was too much. But then they found out that DPB was planning a boxer seen with Commander Rabb and they just freaked out.

You see, for all you who don't live in America, our system is run by special interests pressuring the politicians to take a stand on a pet issue of theirs. When this came up, they had no choice, otherwise they would lose votes.

The womens groups on the right were upset since the sight of the incredible Cmdr Rabb in boxers would give carnal thoughts to young women before they were married.

The womens groups on the left were upset because they saw Cmdr. Rabb as distracting women to the point where they would put sex before their careers.

The Envioronmentalists were upset because the vibration from the THUD made by all women who saw this gorgeous man in his boxers would score at least an 8 on the Richter Scale, thus upsetting the envionment.

So you see, the pressure was too much for the politicians and so they passed the BareHarmControl act which would only allow him to expose his forearms a certain amount of times per season and nothing else. They did this in the name of national security.

BTW, all the time this posturing was going on, the Libertarians just sat back, lit up a joint and watched with amusement of government gone amuck!, 6 GLAS
-----

OMG, I wasn't here today. Does this mean that CaveWoman is a LIT??? (a lu in training?) -- judi not sure I can handle it!! OY!!!!! LOL

OMG, ITA with Michelle!!!!! This is a first! Maybe I need sensitivity training again!!! -- judi who knows Michelle knows I'm just kidding, right Michelle, no, Michelle - put the ax away. Oh no

Washington Winkie, I mean Weinie AKA Adrift 1 on USA -- judi, This was one of those episodes that held together really well. Everyone was in it and there was continuity. Aside from all that, some comments: (note from Lu: There were several points, #11 was specifically GLA’d) #11 - Harm really knows how to spoil a party, doesn't he? LOL


Hey, SD, nice to see you here playing with us! If Harm is gay, I'm off to get a sex change operation - the heck with my trip to Cleveland! -- judi aka joyce aka rdol,

Do you get jealous of me on the screen when I am working with other women? What does that mean? It can't mean sex, because if it did, then poor Nanci will have to go thru hypnosis to remember the last time her hubby had a sexy scene with a woman. -- judi who wishes it weren't so





LUOODLES

FIVE GOLDEN LUOODLES!!!!!!!!! Sorry.. saw this and couldn't resist. Leaving now. -- Luoodles dipping herself in glue and rolling around in a barrel of glitter as we speak!

Blam! Blam!!!! -- Elmer Fud. I'm hunting WAABITS!!!!! Huuhuuhhuhhhuuhhhuuhhh!! (In response to: I am in charge. muhahahahaha. -- The Bunny)

Part one of the Singer Shower



MAG

Thanks Brigette and judi!! I don't think God screwed up at all! As a matter of fact I think Harm could wear a T shirt saying, God was just showing off when he made me!! SIGH! -- Young Mag




MANETTE
I "reconstitute" CW on a regular basis---"Soup's On!!!" -- manette

nine months of hard labor -- manette, (In response to: What happens if you get stuck with the Singer or Sergei pieces? -- Araninda)

Don't get me started on Harm's instant pudding... -- manette

Happy Birthday HarmyBoard!!!! -- Cece and manette: The HarmyBoard Birthday Video

Michelle-- we at the Harmy Board ask on a daily basis to see the Commander "change and grow"....at least part of him -- manette




MICHELLEB

Ax choppers, flying monkeys, shaky people and a Princess. Emoticon Parade by Michy. (In response to Judi’s “OMG, ITA with Michelle!!!!! This is a first! Maybe I need sensitivity training again!!! -- judi who knows Michelle knows I'm just kidding, right Michelle, no, Michelle - put the ax away. Oh no!!!!!!”)


Hmmmm! I find #7 a little alarming! LOL! I mean -- what a waste! -- MichelleB (in response to: “#7. Harm's still a fighterjock! He has an orgasm everytime he sees, hears or thinks of ANY part of an F-14.” ~ Cece)

OH goody! Kat's broken the board! She wins! LOL! Here --- Michy -- maybe that will help ... and then again ... maybe not! )



MINERVA

Unbold Damn it!! – Minerva



SHELL

On the 9th day of Christmas TPTB gave to me, 9 rides with Harmy without his F14! -- Shell

Lu I am a little miffed that I didn't know about the shower sooner.....after all I am the OTHER member of the Singer Fanclub. Or is there three of us? Anyhoo, want me to bring anything? Plates, napkins, weapons? Let me know. -- Shell

Yup KK, thats what it means. Thats what Harm told me, he said " as soon as I get out of this closet I want to fledge you all night long" I'm, sure thats what he said...it sounded like fledged..... -- Shell

Well CaveWoman, fledged means um ....ita kinda like... well.. Let me use it in a sentence . " Harm and I fledged all night." -- Shell

Sorry Lu, I can't help you. I am Heather's interpreter. And Heather is Dancer's and Judi is Cec's. I'm not sure if any one here speaks Crossy, maybe Dancer does. I would love to know if anyone speaks Lu. – Shell

Hi CQ! You understand me so well. LOL! And Chief, he flys really good! Kinda like he fledges!! Woohoo!! – Shell (In response to: Doesn't "fledge" have something to do with "flight"? Little birds learning to fly are called "fledgelings", so technically, "full-fledged" would be fully able to fly. Obviously the term has widened in meaning and nuance since it was first coined. So, judging from your use of "fledged" in the sentence above, you and Harm "learned to fly"? Interesting, since I thought he was already pretty good at that! -- Cheif HO, checking in, )







SPICEY

A new game, just in time for Christmas delivery -- Spicey, who had a silly moment this morning and thought, what if...,
Rabble, some place between Chutes and Ladders, Parchisi and Strip Poker.

Delivered just in time for Christmas.

Instructions:

A game for six to eight players. Each player will select a piece representing one of the characters on JAG. You will note that the "Bud" piece arrives already broken.
The curvaceous guest actress piece is reserved for Spicey and all other Barbie twins.

Rules of the game:

1. The Harm piece may only jump the Mac piece if the moon is blue.
2. The Bud piece may not climb any ladders.
3. Players draw cards to determine how many places they will advance. Harm's forward motion is always accompanied by patriotic music.
4. AJ starts four places ahead of everyone else.
5. Players who land on the Manly Arms Beach must shed a piece of clothing. Unless it is a player other than Harm.
6. The Sturgis player may land in the middle of any other two players, disrupting them.
7. The unlucky player who pulls the "Harm and Bobbi did too do it card" is banished to the corner for the remainder of the game.
8. Harm always wins.
5 glas



TRISH

OMG WOMAN !!!!!! Bite-ist thou tongue!!!!!! I'm all for draggin' sergei's butt across the pond to raise the imp-o-Singer, but NOT MY Harmy!!!!!! -- Trish..pant, pant, snort, snort....NOT MY Harmy!!!!,

-----
My 3 cents worth....... and other observations. -- Trish
I so enjoyed this ep. I even teared up, when the crew of the sub were going down, and they knew it. It was sad.
This was a good strong ep, too bad they all arent. Now for some observations....

Webb... okay i'll admit, a sweaty panting Webb was somewhat stimulating. However, in that fencing get-up....... has Porter had him neutured? I didnt even see the male version of camel toes on that one. Webb=small package, i'm afraid.

Bud..one word,horndog. That man risked life and limb to hop up those stairs for nookie.He practically begged for it. Could've done without the kissy face stuff though.

Harriet..Did you see the look on her face when she saw Bud in HER bed? lolol You could tell she wasnt in the mood for stump-jumping.A word of advice for Harriet..put vaseline on the banister if you want to keep a one legged man out of the upatairs bedroom.

Mac...tell the hair dept. to put the damn weedwhacker AWAY!!!!! Did ya'll know that Mac has personally started the BOB shop of America self help video? She will be touring senior citizen homes and convents starting in the summer. Her first class will be...BOB burn: you dont have to suffer in silence.

Harm..Did he look hot in those winter blues or what????
Unfortunately he has entered the Brotherhood of the Forgotten Appendage.If he dont have sex soon I will explode.
Maybe we should send him some hints from Heloiuse tips on "What to do with a Moldy Winkie"

Sturgis..Did I catch a glimpse of Sturgis in this one?

Next week looks promising. Cant wait to see a chastized Harm. I've gotten used to seeing chastity Harm. His facial expressions are great!!!
----


Looks like a ravenous bunny with a big blue BOB!!! – Trish (In response to the Bunniator Emoticon)

are you kidding?? This is a Texas Wal-Mart !! It said" thanks babe" then it farted and went to sleep. LOL -- Trish, In response to: Was the machine drooling afterwards, or did it just lean back and smoke a cigarette???? -- CM>^.,.^<, )




YANKEE BELLE

Saw Florida Straits again tonight with my daughter. When Mic and Mac had the kissy lovey scene in his apartment, my daughter commented, "EWWW that's the day you ask for a pay raise." LOL -- Yankee Belle



And last but not least, we revisit the following exchange:

~Violet is CatMom's third favorite color, after brilliant sunshine yellow and chartruse, neither of which would be great for a board. -- CM>^.,.^<,
~What color is chartruse, CatMom? -- Lucia...just curious…
it's the same color as unused Winkie -- ettenam
~I thought an unused Winkie would be white... -- mrotsk
~That would be a frozen winkie. -- ecec,
~wouldn't a frozen winkie be blue? or is that the color from too much use? -- RDOL

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