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Date Posted: 16:25:42 09/12/06 Tue
Author: Trey
Subject: Things You Learn From Raising Boys

I know not many of you have kids but you should still find this funny!

RAISING BOYS

> a) For those who have grown children - this is
> hysterical!
>
> b) For those who have children past this age, this is
> hilarious.
>
> c) For those who have children this age, this is not
> funny.
>
> d) For those who have children nearing this age, this
> is a warning.
>
> e) For those who have not yet had children, this is
> birth control.
>
>
> The following came from an anonymous Mom in Waterloo,
> NY

Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
>
> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
> 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
>
> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
> over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
>
> 3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults
> in a crowded restaurant.
>
> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
> motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy
> wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is
> strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
> spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
>
> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
> fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you
> have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a
> hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
>
> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
> stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
>
> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
> oh", it's already too late.
>
> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
> lots of it.
>
> 9) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint
> rock even though 36-year old man says they can only do
> it in the movies.
>
> 10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive
> tract of a 4-year old boy.
>
> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
> the same sentence.
>
> 12.) Super glue is forever.
>
> 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
> pool you still can't walk on water.
>
> 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>
> 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
> though TV commercials show they do.
>
> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>
> 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
> driving.
>
> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
> is.
>
> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
> plastic toys do not bake in ovens.
>
> 20.) The fire department in Waterloo, NY has a
> 5-minute response time.
>
> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
> make earth worms dizzy.
>
> 22) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
>
> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
> >
> 24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of
> their friends, with or without kids.
>
> 25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the
> Clorox and brake fluid.

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Replies:

[> Trey--Many thanks for this! I just became one of the 80%. One of our teachers just had a baby boy last week and really should be forewarned! -- paulinamom, 22:18:12 09/15/06 Fri [1]


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