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Date Posted: 21:05:32 11/02/06 Thu
Author: Remy
Subject:
I'm just not ready for this..




(It had been more than a month since he had almost lost his wife.. and more than a month since he had set foot inside their apartment. The penthouse had harbored the worst and most personal crimescene he had ever seen in his life.. and he had found it impossible to even think about looking at the place.

But he had found out just after Shay had woken up that the men in his life had not been sitting on their hands like he had suspected.. but rather they had taken it upon themselves to renovate the apartment. The bedroom had been completely gutted of furniture and then the work had begun. There had been so much blood on the walls and floor that Shaun had rented a floor sander and taken a couple layers off the beautiful oak floor, and the sheetrock had been replaced as well. The men had finished the construction and then consulted Remy on what to put back into the room. He'd been so touched by their caring that he had gotten teary and hugged everyone.. and then all the men had engaged in a sort of coughing session to cover up the love in the lobby of the hospital. He had spent the next three nights pouring over designers digests and furniture catalogs, and finally gave the men swatches for paint, ordered furniture to be delivered and picked out furnishings, linens and accessories. Everything had to be replaced, nothing could look the same.. he couldn't take that and he knew Shay couldn't either.

He still hadn't set foot in the apartment, he couldn't get himself to leave Shay's side long enough to do so.. instead he had moved into the hospital room.. and now that it was time for them to leave it had taken four trips to the waiting black Denali to get all of their belongings. He had returned last of all for his wife, and when he came in to see her sitting on the hospital bed waiting for him, well, it had been one of the best moments of his life. He'd helped her into a wheelchair and set Chase in her lap, and then wheeled his entire family out to the waiting truck... it was about time they got to go home.

And now that they were home.. well, he was damn nervous to go inside. He had pushed the wheelchair out of the elevator on their floor, and they were encased in the private lobby looking at the door to their apartment.. and he had frozen. He couldn't go in there.. into the place where he had seen his wife covered in blood.. his baby crying for her.. his life spiraling out of control. It made his heart race and he felt lightheaded and his hands were clenching the handles on the chair so hard that it was shaking right along with him. He was staring at the door like a deer, as though it might open on it's own.. as though it harbored hell itself.. he was scared to death.)

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