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Date Posted: 08:02:31 11/08/06 Wed
Author: Mariana Rezende Costa.
Subject: Re: Figuring Out What 'Sex' to Have Till Marriage
In reply to: Clare Tyler 's message, "Figuring Out What 'Sex' to Have Till Marriage" on 11:38:14 11/06/06 Mon

Clare,

There are unfortunately loads of issues which the Bible does not draw a line on. Then it comes that people who follow it are endlessly struggling to understand what they should and should not do. It is all about interpretation so the pastors priests bishops and whatever can manipulate it to their will.

You say that people should do nothing more than kiss while dating. Well this is your opinion and I must respect it, but you admit that kissing leads to other levels of interaction that are, I believe, purely normal and natural. It is about instincts. Not about being dirty or whatever. You say that

"I can honestly say from my life's
>experience that it is the best way to go."

Well if this is from YOUR LIFE'S EXPERIENCE that you are saying, I do not think it is a good idea to assume that it is the best way to everyone.

You say you had intimate physical contact with a guy you were dating and now it is difficult to forget the physical aspect of the relationship. But physical aspect is also MEMORY and it is also EMOTION. And, do you really have to tell your husband about "things you did" with others guys? You have to tell him because you feel guilty and want to redeem yourself, or because it is a condition he imposes? For me, both options seem pure nonsense. Anyway, is it really important? Should past experiences haunt us for ever? Why not begin something with a clean mind and an unburdened body? If someone is to love you and be with you, this someone must accept you. Accept all you are. Your experiences, you beliefs, your views.

"As hard as it may seem, if you don't give into the tempation in the first place, you won't crave that feeling, so I think it is best to limit your sexual activity to a minimum".

And besides you won't FULLY experience the beauty and pleasure that are being offered. Not by a guy, but by life and especially YOURSELF.

"Besides, a good relationship is based on friendship
and compatibilty, so I think that should be the focus".

Sex is also an important part of any healthy and lasting relationship. We should start seeing it as a natural thing. We should see it without guilt or fear, and try and make the most of it.

Mariana Costa.

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