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Date Posted: 17:55:36 11/05/06 Sun
Author: Bernardo Chacur
Subject: "Must Dump Friends to Quit Smoking, Drinking, Drugs?"

"Must Dump Friends to Quit Smoking, Drinking, Drugs?"

My boyfriend recently decided to quit smoking cigarettes, pot and drinking. He says that this means he has to dump all of his friends because they would never understand his decision, and that all they do when they're together is drink or smoke. I suggested that they could still talk and hang out without doing those things, but he doesn't think that would work. He doesn't think that I understand because my relationships with my friends are completely different. The friendships I have are closer and not based on getting trashed, but maybe that's the difference between guys and girls.
I want to help him but I don't know what to do or what advice to give him. He really wants to give up drinking and smoking but is very torn up about losing his friends. Please help me help him.

age - 17 yrs
USA

ANSWER: I feel you should actually help him to stay away from these so-called friends. #1 is that the substance abuse was really bothering him, and in an environment where this sort of attitude is common-place he won\'t be able to quit. And by the way, if this friendship circle is solely based on getting thrashed as you just said, there is hardly any real friendship involved. Be strong and help him out of this rut, but at the same time remember he is not solely your responsibility: encourage him to seek advice and professional help. This burden can be too heavy for someone so young as you are.

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