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Date Posted: 15:56:38 08/18/08 Mon
Author: Jubellant
Subject: Well I thought that Frank's instincts told him that Denise was keeping something from him and it was eating away at him. (Inside)
In reply to: jagnut 's message, "What did you think about Frank and Denise last night?" on 15:09:33 08/18/08 Mon

I think he was trying really hard not to explode with the emotions he had inside. He felt he was losing his wife. He did not know exactly to what or whom and he felt powerless to do anything about it. The rules in their marriage were changing and he did not know what the new ones were, what his wife's needs were and he probably didn't even know where to start to make things right. To his credit in spite of being hurt he is staying to fight for his wife. He looked lost. He was so gentle with her in spite of the tough questions he was asking her. I think he knew she was lying to him. I don't think he was convinced that Denise was not in love with Getti. I thought he was very open with her about how being away one has so much time to think about things and how little things get stretched into being a big deal. He at least went to see Jeremy and I was glad he told him he was proud of how he handled himself and apologized for his reaction to his arrest but I felt as if the real motive he went to see Jeremy was to pump him for information about Denise. As father and son talks go, I do not think they have had many so it was awkward for Frank but at least he mentioned Amanda and showed some interest in how his training was going. As for Denise she was guilt ridden because she was lying to Frank. I don't think she even wants to know if she was in love with Getti or not because then she would have to answer some tough questions about herself. I think it really shook her how she was so intoxicated by this guy that her love for Frank could take a back seat. Based on her reaction to Roland's cheating I think she was shocked to find herself even tempted in that direction. Everything told her what she was doing was wrong. I think she wants to share her new found independence with Frank but is afraid of how he will take it just as she was afraid to tell him what she needed with respect to intimacy. As far as I have seen Frank eventually backs down when Denise challenges him and I think he would do just about anything to make his wife happy, so why is she so fearful about telling him what she wants from him? I think they truly love each other but both know they have reached a critical point in their marriage that will either make it stronger or split them apart. I felt they both acted their parts well in that they are both so fragile right now they don't dare just get angry with each other in the fear that they will drive the other away for good.

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[> As I said above, Frank still doesn't get it. The problems that he & Denise are having aren't because of Ghetti...Yes part of them are because Denise has found herself, but a part is also because of Frank's controlling & bullying attitude, which is what he still doesn't understand. He doesn't get that his belittling, his stifling, his lack of respect for Denise is a huge part of the problem, & instead blames it all on Denise, her going back to work & now Ghetti. I didn't like the way Frank grilled Jeremy, its wrong to place Jeremy in the middle his & Denise's problems. Inside.... -- Jennifer, 08:37:42 08/19/08 Tue [1]

I wish Jeremy would've spoken up however on the fact that Frank automatically assumed Jeremy was guilty of the drug charges, and the fact that Frank belittled Denise for believing in Jeremy's innocence. Frank's telling Jeremy how proud he is rings hollow IMHO due to the fact he didn't think his son was innocent....

Of course Denise feels guilty....she wants to talk to Frank but she knows because of his attitude, he probably won't listen to what she has to say. I'm glad she suggested marriage counseling, and *if* the sides are correct for the counseling session, once again Frank will "blame" everything on the fact Denise has returned to work, that she's not the little housewifey who stays at home and waits for Frank to make every decision about their lives.

To me that indicates he still doesn't get it, and he still refuses to acknowledge that his controlling nature is a HUGE part of the problem. Nope its all Denise's fault...she's changed and he hasn't...well Frankie boy, your refusal to change is part of the problem.

I don't know if they'll work it out or not....I think Frank's driving off was a very realistic reaction to what Denise told him, I don't fault him for that, my problem is he doesn't see that he is part of the problem. Its going to take them both to fix things, Denise to communicate better, but will Frank actually hear her and really listen?

I was sad that Denise is apparently giving up riding....she truly enjoyed it, and I know she probably feels guilty about Ghetti's death, but its just another thing that Frank tried to control and he got his way, she's not riding.


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