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| Subject: What it's like to drown | |
Author: Jessica | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 11:50:41 01/23/08 Wed I began by floating on your voice, it relaxed me and I sought it out to capture for my own. I fished for you and baited you to me and you are mine. Hey, we’re 80% water, so we ebbed and flowed and your finger dipped into the pools of my skin in a most delicious way, and tidal, we sailed somewhere Lost, and moon-struck, we sought moon-light, which is best for lovers and cooling tiny beads of sweat and the waves we rode were of various metaphors. Storms never shook us much. But now the water is a different animal- Fluid. And release is now medical, not love. your vessels taking on polluted water creak and are swollen full my eyes taking on brine water swell and become empty. I would drink every drop of evil humors from your body to save you the agony of knowing what it’s like to drown in your lungs but my mouth is full of my own salt, and the taste is bitter, knowing I can’t swim there. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: What it's like to drown | |
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Author: Sasha [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:23:43 01/23/08 Wed ~ WOW!!!!! Jess, you're on fire, hon this is wonderful, excellent use of metaphor loving this entirely, and such wonderful imagery... *hugs* Sash xx  . [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Janel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 21:12:01 01/23/08 Wed Very interesting and creative write Jessica, I love your use of metaphor and your imagery, that feeling of drowning is definitely felt. I much enjoyed the read. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Arunansu [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 22:50:07 01/23/08 Wed I liked the mood of your poem. Its an amazing piece. Cheers to you for the penning. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Darkerside of Light [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 02:16:50 01/24/08 Thu A Pen of how people and life change nothing ever stays the same. then comes the suffering and the trying to cope and the dealing that follow. fantastic pen DSL [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Paul [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:27:13 01/24/08 Thu Jess, Sasha read this to me in voice chat last night. By the time she had finished I was shuddering. This is powerful stuff, worthy of high praise. More please.....pretty please! LOL Just excellent! Peace and love, Paul. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Jess [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19:36:51 01/26/08 Sat Wow, I had no idea I was already recited! ;) Just kidding, but I'm flattered. Thank you all for the kind words and the reading. Much love, Jess [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: andy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:52:28 01/28/08 Mon A very powerful poem here! Love the influence of water and the ebb and flow (tidal feeling) of it all. So nice to find all this poetry here to return to after a short absence. You all bless my life and restore my faith that as people we need not work too hard to embrace each other's passions, fears, and dreams. Poetry is a wonderful gift and this morning you have helped to remind me why that is so. thanks for that and more, andy [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Max Hardy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 01:38:22 01/29/08 Tue Hello Jess From first to last this flows with a majestic voice, vibrant with emotions of an encompassing love through time and life's trials. Words that touched me, tears welling in empathy to your voice. Awesome. Max [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Black Star [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:32:36 01/30/08 Wed Awww how bitter sweet, this was beautiful to read. Love Black Star [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |