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Subject: What it's like to drown


Author:
Jessica
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Date Posted: 11:50:41 01/23/08 Wed


I began by floating on your voice,
it relaxed me and I sought it out
to capture for my own.
I fished for you and baited you to me
and you are mine.

Hey, we’re 80% water,
so we ebbed and flowed
and your finger dipped
into the pools of my skin
in a most delicious way,
and tidal,
we sailed somewhere Lost,
and moon-struck,
we sought moon-light,
which is best for lovers
and cooling tiny beads
of sweat
and the waves we rode
were of various metaphors.

Storms never shook us much.

But now the water is a different animal-
Fluid.
And release is now medical,
not love.

your vessels taking on polluted water
creak and are swollen full

my eyes taking on brine water
swell and become empty.

I would drink every drop of
evil humors from your body
to save you the agony
of knowing what it’s like
to drown in your lungs

but my mouth is full of
my own salt,
and the taste is bitter,
knowing I can’t swim there.


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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: What it's like to drown


Author:
Sasha
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Date Posted: 18:23:43 01/23/08 Wed




~ WOW!!!!! Jess, you're on fire, hon

this is wonderful, excellent use of metaphor
loving this entirely, and such wonderful imagery...

*hugs*

Sash xx


Photobucket

.

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[> Subject: Re: What it's like to drown


Author:
Janel
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Date Posted: 21:12:01 01/23/08 Wed

Very interesting and creative write Jessica,
I love your use of metaphor and your imagery,
that feeling of drowning is definitely felt.
I much enjoyed the read.

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[> Subject: Re: What it's like to drown


Author:
Arunansu
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Date Posted: 22:50:07 01/23/08 Wed

I liked the mood of your poem. Its an amazing piece. Cheers to you for the penning.

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[> Subject: Re: What it's like to drown


Author:
Darkerside of Light
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Date Posted: 02:16:50 01/24/08 Thu

A Pen of how people and life change nothing ever stays the same. then comes the suffering and the trying to cope and the dealing that follow. fantastic pen

DSL

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[> Subject: Re: What it's like to drown


Author:
Paul
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Date Posted: 03:27:13 01/24/08 Thu

Jess,

Sasha read this to me in voice chat last night. By the time she had finished I was shuddering. This is powerful stuff, worthy of high praise. More please.....pretty please! LOL

Just excellent!

Peace and love,

Paul.

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[> Subject: Re: What it's like to drown


Author:
Jess
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Date Posted: 19:36:51 01/26/08 Sat

Wow, I had no idea I was already recited! ;) Just kidding, but I'm flattered.

Thank you all for the kind words and the reading.

Much love,

Jess

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[> Subject: Re: What it's like to drown


Author:
andy
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Date Posted: 08:52:28 01/28/08 Mon



A very powerful poem here!

Love the influence of water
and the ebb and flow (tidal feeling)
of it all.

So nice to find all this poetry here to
return to after a short absence.

You all bless my life and restore my
faith that as people we need not work
too hard to embrace each other's passions,
fears, and dreams.

Poetry is a wonderful gift and this morning
you have helped to remind me why that is so.

thanks for that and more,
andy

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[> Subject: Re: What it's like to drown


Author:
Max Hardy
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Date Posted: 01:38:22 01/29/08 Tue

Hello Jess

From first to last this flows with a majestic voice, vibrant with emotions of an encompassing love through time and life's trials.

Words that touched me, tears welling in empathy to your voice.

Awesome.

Max

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[> Subject: Re: What it's like to drown


Author:
Black Star
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Date Posted: 14:32:36 01/30/08 Wed

Awww how bitter sweet, this was beautiful to read.

Love Black Star

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