| Subject: My view of being spanked |
Author:
Benji
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Date Posted: 22:15:33 09/15/12 Sat
I posted this at another board but I felt it would be useful here too.
A little of the information is now outdated but the important stuff is still relevant.
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The last time I posted about my dad, I was really critical of him and it caused some issues. I am going to try to do differently but he is on my mind right now.
I first want to say something that is related to this board. I hear all of the time about how much we hate our spankings and how horrible they are and, yes, some even criticize their parents for spanking them. OK, I get that, I do. I really hate getting a spanking myself. It hurts, it burns, it stings, it is somewhat embarrassing and I feel bad about myself. I mean who likes to hurt? All of us are around the same age here and I think we are old enough to take a different view of getting spanked. Have we ever thought about how it helps us?
I am the product of an uninvolved absent father and a very liberal mother. I was not spanked as a younger kid. Yes, Dad slapped a belt across the seat of my pants when I was 8 because I lied to him but it was only one lick and I barely felt it. That was it. Mom was always protective of me and Dad was more in love with his career than me and so he really did not care what I did. Not only was I not spanked, I was rarely punished. I remember being in time out a few times and not getting to watch TV for a day and I think I remember getting out of the TV ban. Mom liked to reason with me. I lived in Germany most of my childhood due to Dad's career. I would sometimes get sent to the USA to visit my uncle and cousins over Spring Breaks. By the time I was 11 I was a spoiled obnoxious brat. OK, I can admit that now. I was 11 and I was visiting here and I guess I thought I could treat my Aunt just like I treated Mom - like a servant. I got a couple of warnings from my Aunt and Uncle about my attitude but I could have cared less. I smarted off to Aunt Karen and demanded something from her and the next I knew Uncle Pat had me by the arm and said I was "going to learn how to treat adults with respect." That was the first REAL spanking I ever got. It was very drawn out because I also had to learn that Uncle Pat was serious about me taking my own shorts and undies down. It was the most painful thing I ever experienced and I was mad and hurt and all of that. But, it was weird, I also felt good. I guess I felt like someone cared. I got over being mad and my rear actually felt fine after a couple of hours but I was a different kid for the rest of the visit. I actually had fun and enjoyed myself.
I went home and fell back into being a spoiled obnoxious brat and my parents allowed it. I turned 12 that April and found a new group of friends. It was a gang of thugs. I started skipping school. I would run with these guys and we would vandalize houses and cars and we would steal and shoplift. We were a group of delinquents. We vandalized a little market and stole stuff from it and got caught. I was just taken home and turned over to my mother. Mom was so upset that she made me stand in time out for a whole half hour. Wow! I wasn't going to do that again. NOT! I was forbidden to hang with these guys. I really obeyed that restriction. I would skip school and sneak out at all hours just to be with my "friends." They were in to drugs and wanted me to get in on them as well. I did hold some pot for them a couple of times but, thank God, I never tried the drugs! When my gang was busted for drugs, I am so thankful that I was at a doctor's appointment when it happened, Mom realized my situation was serious. Dad's whole take on it was that "boys will be boys" and that it was a phase and I would grow out of it. Really, Dad? Mom made a hard call and called her brother in the USA. I was on a plane within the week.
Being taken away from your home and shipped 6000 miles away from everything you grew up with is a sobering experience. Just that alone was a wake up call and I vowed to try my best to be a different kid. My obnoxious brattiness still came out and I still tried to do stupid things but my uncle's response was different than Mom's or definitely Dad's. His answer was to light my rear end up. I also realized the principal at the school had a paddle and skipping school was a sure fire way to meet his paddle. I guess I really did not sit comfortably for a couple of months in to my transition. But, the whole thing literally saved my life. I also was able to become part of a baseball team at school and we had a great coach who taught us teamwork and discipline and, oh yeah, he had a paddle too. He used it on me once and only once. I also met my great friend Justin who you all know as Turtle. Turtle is a very positive kid and he influenced me in so many good ways. I finally realized what a true friend was.
So, people, hate your spankings all you want. Gripe about them all you want. Yes, I know it is a horrible experience. But, please ask yourself, where would you be if someone did not take the time to care enough about you to cause some serious hurt in your backside? Had I not been removed from my situation and had I not started to receive real consequences for my actions I would be in jail, addicted to drugs, and maybe even dead. Next time you are sniffling and rubbing a burning butt, think about that.
All of that to give a report about Dad. He was supposed to retire and come live here in December. Instead he decided to not retire and to divorce my mother. OK, their marriage was a charade anyway, I get it. Dad promised he would fly me and a friend to Germany for Spring Break. Well, it seems something came up and that did not happen. He was going to come here for my birthday in April. He was so sorry but he could not work it out.
The divorce was final last week. Mom has been real quiet about it. She left some papers out and I got nosy and read them. It was the final decree. Dad relinquished all custody and visitation rights to me and offered Mom a one time child support settlement. Yes, essentially Dad coughed up some cash to be rid of me. That is how I see it anyway. I had a bad weekend after that but I am getting over it. Too many people love me and see value in me for me to worry about a man who was never really there for me anyway.
Dad called at some ridiculous hour this morning. I think it was like 1:30AM. He always says the time difference confuses him. He wanted to know how I was doing and he was trying to say he was going to try to work out a week to come see me. Something came over me and I went off on him. I dumped 14 years worth of disappointment and hurt and indifference on him and then ended the call sobbing like a toddler. I feel better now.
Mom? She is a wonderful woman who loves me. She just has a liberal attitude. But she sees the value in physical correction, she just can't bring herself to do it, but she has no problem delivering me to my uncle who has no problem giving me what I need.
Yeah, I hate it and it hurts but I am so lucky to have someone who cares for me!
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