Re: My view of being spanked -- Spank with Love

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Subject: Re: My view of being spanked

Author:
Angela

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Date Posted: 20:46:58 09/23/12 Sun
In reply to: Benji 's message, "My view of being spanked" on 22:15:33 09/15/12 Sat

Hello Benji,

My name is Angela & I am Taylor's mother. My husband and I had wanted to write something to you but we aren't sure how to say what we want to say. But I will attempt to convey our feelings in an appropriate way.

I read your post last week and my heart went out to you. Your post indicated that you are a brave, mature boy but I can also see the hurt you must feel. I saw the loneliness and sense of abandonment you must have felt while living in Germany. You compensated by associating with others who made you feel wanted and that you belonged. But there was one thing, one very important thing missing from that life you were living. Those other kids didn't love you, but I think you knew that.

Your mother made a very brave & difficult decision to send you to live with your uncle. I have never met your mother of course, but she must love you very much to make a decision like that. You are very mature to recognize that just because she can't bring herself to spank you doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. Some people just can't do it for whatever the reason. It isn't an easy thing to do.

I am sure your father loves you too Benji. Some people just have a hard time showing it. I know that must be hard for you to understand. Please try not to be bitter about it. Perhaps in time he will realize what he is missing and try to reach out to you. I hope that you can put aside your disappointments and grief and be there when he does.

Please understand that I am not criticizing your parents. It is not my place to do so. I don't know them so I can't say why they made the choices they made. That is between you and them and God.

Always please remember that no matter what happens, no matter how bleak things may look, God loves you. There is nothing that can change that. St. Paul tells us that in Romans 8:38-39. Even when you were living a sinful life in Germany He loved you and brought you to a better place. Even when you were being disrespectful and rude to those around you, He loved you. He loved you so much that he took you from everything that you knew and held dear and gave you another chance in another place with an aunt & uncle who love you and care for you & where you would find the tough love and discipline that you needed and deserved. That is a powerful love Benji. You have truly been blessed.

After she read your post Taylor asked us if we could include you and your family in our daily and weekly prayers. When we read your post ourselves we didn't hesitate. We will remember you and your parents, your aunt and uncle and your cousins in our prayers always. I know we have never met and probably never will but we were deeply touched by what you wrote. Thank you for sharing your story.

Take care Benji and please continue to share here. We would love to hear how you are doing. Peace and God Bless.

Angela

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[> [> Subject: Re: My view of being spanked

Author:
Benji to Mrs. Angela
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Date Posted: 21:06:04 09/24/12 Mon

Wow!

All I can say is thank you. I would have to admit that I still held some resentment to Mom over sending me here from Germany but you helped me see this differently.

You may have read but Mom is living in Chicago right now. She is an architect and she found a good job there but, frankly, I did not want to move and Mom also agreed that it would not be a good environment for me. A year ago today, my grandfather passed away and so we had a memorial service at the cemetery yesterday to remember him. Mom came as it was her daddy. She did not have to fly back to Chicago until later today so I spent the night with her and all of this morning. (I am home schooled until January when I start at my new school.) It was nice as it gave me and Mom time to talk through some things and so your note came at the perfect time. I feel God has divine appointment and a divine time line for all things.

Your note was very encouraging to me. I love the passage in Romans you shared. My "cousin" Mark loves the "more than conquerors" part of it.

I do believe in and appreciate your prayers. That is another good thing about me being here. I guess you know that my uncle is a pastor? It has been helpful being in a minister's home. He also allows me to go to work at the church with him and I really enjoy that. Being here has provided for the missing spiritual aspect in my life. Aunt Karen is a teacher but she took time off to have another baby and to finish her PhD. The baby is due at Christmas. She teaches my home schooling. She is a good teacher. I was getting bored and acting out at school. I took some tests and we found out that I am "gifted" and so Aunt Karen is able to keep the learning fun and exciting for me. She also makes it more challenging. I have been accepted to a special school with other kids like me. I am excited but I will miss Aunt Karen's teaching. I guess that is also another good aspect about being here.

Do you know my cousins PJ, Caleb and Mark who post here? There is also a baby cousin named JB but he is only 11 months old.

I do thank you for taking time to encourage me. Your word was a blessing to me.

-BDA

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[> [> Subject: Re: My view of being spanked

Author:
Angela
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Date Posted: 21:53:16 09/26/12 Wed

Hello Benji,

I am so glad that you & your mother are talking things through. That is so important. I am sure that you will miss her but I'm sure she is going to miss you terribly as well. Mothers want to be assured of their children's well being. I don't think she could make such a decision without knowing that you would be safe & well-cared for.

I guess I didn't realize that your uncle was a pastor. That is wonderful! It's nice that he lets you accompany him to the church. Do you aspire to be a pastor? That would be a rich & fulfilling life. It can be challenging & it's probably not for everyone. We do have something in common though. My husband's youngest brother is a priest. He was ordained just 3 years ago and serves a parish in Wisconsin. We are so proud of him. He is quite popular with his parishioners.

Congratulations on your acceptance to the gifted school. That will be very challenging for you but I'm sure you are up to it. Work hard & make your family proud.

Thank you for your kind words. I am glad that I could help you see things from a different perspective. It is really your willingness to keep an open mind & heart that is important. Always remember that God is with you. If you can remember that then there isn't anything that can defeat you. That's the same thing I tell my own kids often. God Bless you Benji.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: My view of being spanked

Author:
Benji to Mrs. Angela
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Date Posted: 12:39:29 09/27/12 Thu

I do not aspire to the ministry. My cousin PJ and our friend, the Rat, both aspire to the ministry. I love to cook and I do a good job. I want to be a chef and have my own chain of restaurants called Benjamin's. I also want to go on Iron Chef and defeat Chef Morimoto. I want to attend the CIA after high school but I also think I need an MBA.

PJ and Rat both participate in ministry opportunities at our church and they also preach and lead worship on youth days. I cook all the time. I love it.

When I am at the church with Uncle Pat, I will sometimes help him research things on the computer, I will help the office staff with papers and printing, I sometimes help clean the church, also Uncle Pat and I visit the hospitals together sometimes. I made lunch for the church staff one time. (There is a kitchen there.) I have talked to Uncle Pat about a feeding ministry that the church could do. He asked me to get the details and make a proposal.

Thanks again for your encouragement.

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