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Subject: Re: Plausible punishment spankings Author: Dana [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 15:29:56 04/18/25 Fri In reply to: Laura82 's message, "Re: Plausible punishment spankings" on 09:26:42 04/18/25 Fri I think most kids fear a beating more than other punishments, but I'm sure it varies. The advantage of other punishments is that the parent can later change their mind after they have time to reflect on the seriousness of the offense, or if they were maybe reacting more to their disappointment of the broken vase than what's best for the child. There's no taking back a spanking, or making it less severe after it's been given. As I said, at least the mother here wasn't too severe. My parents used spanking, so I'm not speaking as one who doesn't know what it's like. Would they have punished for an accident? Not unless it was significant carelessness that could lead to something bad if not checked — something that needed drastic attention. Anyone can accidentally break a vase, even the owner of that vase. Punishment doesn't prevent accidents like that unless maybe the child is chronically careless. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Plausible punishment spankings Author: Laura82 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:15:23 04/19/25 Sat I suppose it depends on the severity of the spanking. I remember years ago (maybe 2008) a spokeswoman from the NSPCC (British charity charged with protecting children, who are rabidly anti smacking) conceded in the interview that 9 out 10 teens who had experienced both would choose spanking over grounding. She replied "That's because grounding is even more cruel," and we were too busy laughing to hear the rest. That said more and more people are finding other ways of guiding children with less emphasis on any kind of punishment. It's banned in more and more countries and here in the UK. Spanking is illegal in Wales and Scotland and restricted in England. I don't think its been tested in court but lasting marks would almost certainly be illegal along with excessive humiliation. (Naked or more then a few slaps in public.) I may have said before a swotted my niece (who'd have been abt 10) in the park. She wasn't very bothered, but the looks I got. Funny story a few months ago (she's 14 now) and was playing up in a restaurant and clearly expected a slap. Her mum might have done that, but I wouldn't. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Plausible punishment spankings Author: Dana [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 00:26:56 04/23/25 Wed "I remember years ago (maybe 2008) a spokeswoman from the NSPCC (British charity charged with protecting children, who are rabidly anti smacking) conceded in the interview that 9 out 10 teens who had experienced both would choose spanking over grounding. She replied 'That's because grounding is even more cruel,' and we were too busy laughing to hear the rest." Maybe if the spanking is light, a teen would choose it over grounding. There is also the embarrassment factor. This must vary from kid to kid, but if the spanking is truly feared, and causes a deep sense of shame, then a grounding can be a huge relief. A spanking in our house caused both fear and shame, and I doubt many teens would choose that punishment. Of course, nothing said you couldn't have both. The punishment could be a grounding with a blistered behind. Whatever the case, a parent can ultimately cause more damage than good. They're not just reminding the child to be careful around the house, they could also be teaching about unfairness, lack of compassion and forgiveness, addressing problems through violence, and that material things are more important than human beings. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Plausible punishment spankings Author: Laura82 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:04:42 04/24/25 Thu Dana, I'm sorry it was so bad for you. It wasn't that bad for me. Sure it was embarrassing and hurt like hell. In the cold light of day I would have chosen it over grounding, but if it was imminent I would have been too scared. Fortunately I never had to choose. I'd have chickened out and kicked myself afterwards. Honestly I'm not so sure about spanking any more. The problems are exaggerated in my opinion, but there is almost always a better solution. It worked for me but I've never smacked my girls. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Plausible punishment spankings Author: Dana [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:17:18 04/26/25 Sat Laura, thank you for your kind words. I'm not sure how to measure comparatively how bad it was for me, but I think I survived as well as you appear to have gotten past it. Most kids are pretty resilient. Everyone in my family turned out good. Maybe not as good as we could. We love our parents, they love us, and we needed them very much. If we must, we forgive, and we don't allow the love to be broken. I have never spanked a child, and the idea of it repels me, however I have not been in the position of having to make that decision. I do know that parenting is not always easy, even with kids who are inherently good. You sound like the kind of parent every kid should have, doing the honest best you can. I don't give advice regarding spanking but, with their best interests at heart, your girls will be raised well. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Plausible punishment spankings Author: Louise Vancisic Vancisic [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:39:16 04/22/25 Tue I was spanked for accidents but that was because I needed to be more attentive. I think it helped me focus. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]