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Subject: Your opinion Author: Mona [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 12:03:14 11/30/25 Sun I had a question; if it's not appropriate for this forum, I apologize and feel free to delete it. Personally, I'm not a fan of spanking. I think there are more suitable punishments, and I've almost never been spanked. I wanted to know, for those who were spanked as children—it used to be completely commonplace, but not anymore—are there people here for whom spanking was a traumatic experience stemming from the affection they had with their parents? If my question is too personal, I apologize, and I think the administrator won't hesitate to delete it. But if you want to talk to me about it, I'm open to discussion. There's a phrase you often see: "I was spanked and I didn't die." I wanted to know if this is the same for everyone because, after reading some accounts on the Dungeon and Malespank forums, some stories shocked me. I was born in 2006, so this method of discipline is starting to die out, but still, when I read things like, "I didn't tell my parents or I'd get double the spanking," I wondered, did these parents want to spend their lives hitting their children or what? I don't want to be judgmental, but I'm interested in people's stories and I like to know their opinions. But as I said, I'm from the 21st century, but still, I think there are other methods of discipline besides spanking, even in previous years, that could have been effective. A bare-bottom spanking—when I read some accounts, I get the impression that it was very common, even at school, starting in kindergarten. But sometimes I wonder if the parents' goal was to traumatize the child or something? Putting a child naked in public is quite a daring act, and when I read about it, I wonder if the parent really thought it was good for their child's development. I enjoy interacting with people and hearing their opinions, which is why I'm posting this message. I know that children's happiness wasn't as important back then, but sometimes when I read certain stories at home or at school—not just about spanking—I get the impression that everything had to be done through authority, and mistakes simply didn't exist. I don't think I'm the only one on this forum who is against spanking in real life. If you ever want to talk to me, feel free to send me a private message. I love hearing anecdotes and people's opinions on these kinds of topics. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Your opinion Author: Douglas [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:44:08 11/30/25 Sun My opinion is that parents who spank don't necessarily care what's the most effective punishment. I wouldn't be surprised if spankers as a group score low on the conscientious personality trait. They have the drive to spank, it fulfils them in some way. Then they tell the.selves that it's the most effective punishment, it gives them some justification. Yet even if they saw evidence that it's not effective they aren't going to stop spanking. They have what could be called a spankers spirit. I can tell you don't have that at all so it's hard for you to understand them. Just accept that they have a very different mindset than you and it's not going to change.

[> Subject: Re: Your opinion Author: CaringThroughAction [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 17:25:32 11/30/25 Sun The fact you were born in 2006 pretty much explains why you feel like you do. You present your opinion politely and not authoritatively and that's admirable, unlike the anti-spanking zealots. Fact is, many children grow up just fine without being ever spanked. Some children who are spanked have issues... some children who were never spanked have issues. The point being... there are many moving parts to consider when it comes to evaluating spanking as a viable tool. It is a tool, nothing more, nothing less. Like any tool, if it is not used correctly, it can cause harm. Conversely, not using spanking when it may well be needed can could harm. Add to that, successful parenting has a lot to do with spiritual beliefs, how centered the parents are themselves, are they abusers of alcohol or drugs, do they have unresolved anger issues? Etc, etc. Many factors affect the outcome of spanking or not spanking when it comes to raising children and teenagers. The research decades back that said "spanking bad" was deeply flawed, with many areas of indeterminate error and just plain sloppy data collection. It did not differentiate spanking outcomes from environmental things such as alcohol abuse in the home and other issues that can drive parents to spank out of anger or inappropriately. They also included face-slapping and hitting anywhere else on the body as "spanking". The facts are what they are... if you look at history, spanking has been used for centuries. There were and always will be those who unfortunately misuse it. Same with automobiles and guns. But if I look back at my childhood years and my Baby Boomer neighborhood here in California... all kids were spanked. Some more so than others. Nobody I was aware of got messed-up in the head. Everybody turned out fine. I do think it's incumbent on any parent to look objectively at the tools that are out there. Pick and choose the ones that work for you, not to please others. That includes spanking. Back a few years now I mentored a college student and helped her with her discipline. She objectively chose spanking when it came to the discussion about accountability. Why? She was spanked growing up and until she left home for college. She was also loved immensely and loved her parents unconditionally. So at her age (19) it was totally consensual. If you had seen and talked with her you'd never know she had been spanked all her life as a primary consequence. She was confident, articulate, and carried herself well. She just fell into the temptation that can hit you when away from a structured environment.

[> Subject: Re: Your opinion Author: laura82 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:22:05 12/01/25 Mon Hi Mona I'm not a fan of non consenual spanking. There is almost always a better alternative. That said if parenst act in what tehy genuinely believes is the childs best interest you cant go too wrong. I've got friends who were beaten abusively. They think their parents were wrong and would never do it to their own children but they don't hate them for it. Attitudes have changed here in England. When I was growing up everyone was spanked even if the didn't want to admit it. If someone found out you got it they were more likely to ask what you'd done than suggest you were abused. Nowadays if you even admit the possibility of getting a slap people treat you as a victim. I overheard my baby brother and a mixed group of friends talking about it when the were all about 16. One girl admitted she had never been smacked and the others teased her for being spoilt. That was abt 2008.

[> Subject: Re: Your opinion Author: Angela [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:56:48 12/01/25 Mon Mona, Your question is the type of thing I wish there was a lot more of on this forum. Instead it is loaded with fabricated stories of a sexual sadistic encounters with minor children. I strongly suspect that most of these are written by people who were never spanked as children. There has been for several decades an organized anti-spanking movement. They promote the idea that spanking traumatizes children, leading to psychological wide widespread social disorders. A leading anti-spanking zealot has even claimed the anti-spanking movement will end war! I am a Gen X grandmother. My parents believed in spanking. And in those days they even had paddling in my Catholic grade school. At no time did I ever feel traumatized by spankings, though at times I felt one might be unfair. Our first child was born in 1999. Both my husband and I believe in spanking for serious misbehavior. And our children were spanked. I hated it, but did not shirk from my duty. I see no signs the kids were traumatized by it

[> Subject: Re: Your opinion Author: Louise [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:59:29 12/05/25 Fri Hi Mona, How do I send you a private message. My e-mail is lvancisci1@yahoo.com. Louise

[> Subject: Re: Your opinion Author: johnny [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:31:47 12/05/25 Fri Despite how I felt at the time, if I met a sitter or a teacher who spanked me, I would hug them. They made me better. And given the acceptance of spanking at the time, I don't have resentment.

[> Subject: Re: Your opinion Author: Louise [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:54:05 12/07/25 Sun Hi Mona, How do I send you a private message. My e-mail is lvancisic1@yahoo.com. Louise