| Subject: in here (I am skipping posting the prologue to get right to the story. maybe i will post it later) |
Author:
Lidinia Longbow
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Date Posted: 19:29:26 12/17/03 Wed
In reply to:
Lidinia Longbow
's message, "Here is part of a story i am trying to write. Please geve me feedback on it; especialy where you think it needs fixed up(pleeeaaase! i will not be offended at all if you tell me it is not good.)" on 19:01:23 12/17/03 Wed
"Eeeehhhhk!! No, no!! No catch A'ie!" shrieked Attie, the dibbun vole as he ran through the shallows of the abbey pond. A golden-red squirrel ran close at his heels, followed by several other dibbuns.
The squirrel slowed to a stop as he replied, "Ok, Drew won't try to tag you anymore, Attie, but i thought you wanted me to tag you so you can be it."
The little vole stopped running and said stubbornly, "A'ie be It wifout be'in catchted!"
The young brother smiled as he answered, "Ok, you be it, but i bet you can't catch me!" and with that he began to run in the opposite direction.
Attie chased Drew for a little before he realizied that it was impossible for him to catch the quick young brother. "Ok, Mista Dwew, A'ie give up! Uo can be It now. Just no catch A'ie! Catches....," Attie paused as he looked around at the group of dibbuns. "Catches Tittles!" he said finally, pointing to a small hedgehog standing near the reeds.
"Noo, I think it's time to go in and get dried off." said Brother Drew. "You little guys need to take your naps if you want to stay up late at the summer name-day feast tonight! And I need to get back to the Kitchens and help Celia. Can't be desertin' my duties as a cook all the time, you know!"
(whew, typing can get tiresome all right! I know this isnt much, but.... I'll post more if ya want.)
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