VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 12[3]45678910 ]
Subject: Chapter 4 in here!


Author:
Steadykick
[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
Date Posted: 01:15:23 12/18/03 Thu
In reply to: Skywing 's message, "*Flaps her wings* Yay, sparrows!" on 23:28:06 12/17/03 Wed

When the sparrows showed up, Mother Goldenfur charged, with every able bodied Redwaller and Skipper's otter crew behind her.
"Chhhaarrggee!!" Mother Goldenfur got to the wagon, kicked the cowering vermin aside, and took up the cart. She hitched herself where the vermin were, and dashed inside, beckoning for everyone else to do the same.
Once inside, Mother Goldenfur chided playingly, "Now, Sister, you knew he was a wolf, not a fox. Hahaha!"
"No! I meant it!" the Sister defended herself. "A fox! A fox! The other beast was a, a. A FFFOOXX!!"
"Yeip. Don't get nippy wi' me. Just playin." Mother Goldenfur put her paws before her face.
A little hedgehog named Gideon piped up. "He be a vermit beest. I wa' weeding wiv ma' pawl in Bwover Fickwel's gate house. I wemeberin hwim weeding, vermits was baad besets. Twow him over a' waws. Choppa of hi' twail. Bweak his paw an' stuff it up his nowamdnf!" Brother Fickle rushed up and claped a paw firmly around Gideon's mouth.
"Now, what did I say about, Cluny's laguage? Not to use it! You just violated that use. Come now!" Pulling him off by the ear, Gideon couldn'thelp but ask, "What vwiowateed Bwover?"
"Misused"
"What missued?"
"Didn't use it correctly."
"What cworectedly?"
"Nevermind."
"Otay.What di' I neva put ta' mine' Bwover?"
They went off tward the Gate House in that conversation.
"Now, Sister, we might misjudge vermin a little too much. Skipper should know, he was protecting him even when I had them inside the Abbey. Skipper? Skkkiiipppeeerrr? Huh. Dunno what happened to him." Mother Goldenfur said.

But, Skipper was too busy to hear. They had clubbed Preskonet too hard, and he wasn't moving a whole lot. Even the sparra king was in the infirmary, having seen the little one wandering about once.
"Kreak, is wormfox good beast ok?" he asked.
"Sister Flay, is he ok?" Skipper asked anxously.
The doormouse pursed her lips. She was an extremely optomistic mouse, and when she got to the worst of things, it was almost impossible for the thing they wanted to happen to accualy happen. "Umm, well, his breathing is shallow, but, neverthe less, he shouldn't be exposed to extreem hot or cold temperateur. In a few days, maybe a week or two, he'll be fine. But, the hardest clubbing, like you had to endure, will send him off. The best thing to do now, is make him take the medicine, and let him get plenty of rest. Food too. But, no more berries, like he had. They'd be fatel." she then went out of the room.
"Kreak. Goodwormbeast fox, he be ok. Me go to own spot now. Good wormhunt!" and the sparra king flew off.
Only Skipper stayed in the room. He was reluctant to leave the fox kit.
Going down the stairs, he didn't speak. Only sat down in front of the tapastry.
"Skipper? Skip, a-are you ok?" it was an otter of his crew.
"Yes, I'll be fine, soon as that fox kit is on the clear, Valene." Skipper replied, not shifting his gaze from the tapastry.
"Why? Dya like him mate?" Vallerd asked, suddenly appearing beside Valene.
"Yep." Skippers reply was simple.
"Why?" the bewildered Vallerd asked again.
"Youd too, if youda heard him. Chantin, he was gunna git a mother, father, an' own bed. By mother, he meant, Goldenfur, our badger mother. And, by father, he meant, Fahter Wishler. You know what a bed is right? He's gonna git one. I'd give me rudder for it."
Vallerd was still bewildered as he said, "Skip, youve never showed compasion for foxes ever! Only cause you could do battle did ye like em."
"Thisn's differnt."
"But, Skipper," Valene butted in.
"Sorry. Could you bring some vittles up ta' th' infermary? I'll be stayin up there till Preskonet gets better.

When Skipper entered the room, he found Mother Goldenfur standing over the white fox kit.
"Mother Goldenfur?" Skipper asked.
"Yes, Preskonet, I'm your mother now. For as long as I live." she was speaking softly. Then Abbot Wishler came in.
"Hello, my child." he spoke softly too.
"Is ya' gunna be ma' fwaver?" Preskonet's head turned from Mother Goldenfur to the Father Abbot.
"For as long as I can, Preskonet. Get some sleep. I'll wake you when it's dinner time." the father abbot exited.
But as he did, the king sparra flew in the window, and spoke as softly as he could, for now Preskonet was sleeping again.
"Kreak. Worm vermin! Dey twing ta seet fire to da gates! Say, 'Give Preskonet, or all die!"
Grabbing an otter javiln, Skipper said, "Well, they aint gettin Preskonet, or all ov us! Lets go!"
Charging out the infirmy, Skipper called to every one, "Vermin! We gotta fight! Sparras! Crew! Every able bodied beast! Grab a weapon! Fight! Lets goooooo!"
All able bodied Abbey dweller was on the lawn with Skipper's crew. The sparras were in the sky, and Skipper unbolted the door, and shouted, "CCCCHHHHHAAAARRRGGEEE!!!" every beast poured out, and sparrows shot out of the sky at their targets.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:
Subject Author Date
hi Steadykick! Just a couple things I noticed. Not really much but...I don't know. What do you think of these: In the begining of chapter 4, you put 'when Mother goldenfur got to the WAGON.....and took up the CART' I don't know if there is much difference but...also in the middle of chap. 4 you said 'they had clubbed preskenot too hard' now it was unclear throughout the story when preskenot was clubbed and who clubbed him and why, at least I didn't notice anywhere. I'll go back and check in chapter 3. One more thing; in the second section of chap. 4 you said 'only skipper stayed in the room' in the next lin you put going down the stairs...' it was unclear when he went out of the room or even if he did. Sorry, you asked me to. I don't know. maybe it's just me and there is nothing wrong but you can think about it. *the ottermaid smiled and added as she left the room-* Keep writing! I wanna here more!! (NT)Lidinia01:09:24 12/19/03 Fri


Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]

Forum timezone: GMT-1
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.