| Subject: here is the rest of chapter 1(inside). sorry about putting such a small part out last time! |
Author:
Lidinia
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Date Posted: 20:10:05 12/18/03 Thu
In reply to:
Lidinia Longbow
's message, "Here is part of a story i am trying to write. Please geve me feedback on it; especialy where you think it needs fixed up(pleeeaaase! i will not be offended at all if you tell me it is not good.)" on 19:01:23 12/17/03 Wed
The hot, summer sun shone down on Anselm the vile and his horde of evil vermin. Anselm was in a foul mood. Earlier that morning they had attacked a small shrew camp not far up the river from where they were now. Though, in the end they had won, they had not planned that the creatures being so ferocious and had lost half a score of hordebeasts. it was not that losing half a score of hordebeasts would make any dent in the horde, for Anselm was commander of about twelve score vermin. It was the fact that the shrews had actually tried to resist him, the mighty Anselm the Vile, commander of a great horde and that they had actually killed some. Not just a couple, but ten, half a score!
The weasel's thoughts were interupted by a small, black rat carrying a tray laden with food
"'Ere yer go, yer majesty, sir! Churly at yer service! Brought yer sum food frum dat shrew camp we raided!" he said, smiling a toothy grin.
Anselm snarled "Get out you idiot! And don't ever speak to me about that...., that shrew camp again!" he hurled a glass of cordial out after the cringing rat "And stay out!"
After the rat had left, Anselm sighed. "How come I'm the only one around here that knows how to use his brain? Or even has a brain!" he hurled another glass at the entrance to his tent. Just as he threw it, his mate, Belinda, walked in.
"Watch out!" he screeched as she peeked her small head in the doorway. She looked up and ducked just in time to avoid a wine glass in her face.
"Anselm, what are you doing throwing wine glasses around again? I thought you said you would stop throwing them. Sooner or later you are going to hurt someone bad." she said in a calm steady voice.
"Ah, who cares if I kill a few hordebeasts? The blundering idiots!"
"And what about me? You nearly hit my face that time!I could have gotten brain damage or gone blind and I would have had a terrible scar for the rest of my life! Oooh, that would have ruined my beautiful complection terribly1 Oh dear.' she sighed, her large, blue eyes brimming with tears.
Anselm sighed and rolled his eyes upward "No, no, I won't throw anymore cups." he said, trying to soothe his weeping mate "And see, the glass didn't hit you. You're fine and I won't throw them any more. Ther's nothing to cry over, beauty."
She stopped crying and looked up at him, her eyes still glistening with tears. "There isn't?" she asked. Then, before he had time to reply, she laughed lightly and confidently repeated, "There isn't!" With that she turned away from him and walked happily out of the tent.
Anselm sighed.
(this is the end of chapter 1. sorry I didn't get time to finish typing it the first time I posted. please, any comments are welcome~Lidi)
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