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Subject: Teaser: One Love Author: Rosella Guillemoss [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 20:03:49 02/16/03 Sun Here's a little teaser thingy-ma-bobber on a book/story that I'm writing. How's it sound? "A breeze flowed calmly through the light morning air. The faint trill of birdsong could be heard in the woods. The grass flowed and rippled as waves roll and break. Rosebeam smiled happily. This day could not be more complete." But there was more to come. Before the day was over, a ruthless weasel would sweep through the woodlands, intent on conquering all. Ren Var would take all that goodbeasts held dear: freedom. But he would hide this from a young maiden, a babe in fact. He would raise her, and she would trust him. But as Dahlia grew, she grew more beautiful, stronger, and wiser; and she began to ask questions. What ever happened to her real family? Why do no other beasts seem to enjoy life as she does? Why are others so bitter towards her? Who is this young male squirrel, and why is he so bitter? And the most mysterious of all, what are the tattoos on her hand, and what do they mean? It's a little rough, and actually might change with the story...but anyways, what do you think? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Subject Author Date I like it; it's somewhat vague, but enough that it makes me want to read the actual story. Nice teaser. ^__^ From the title, I can tell it's going to be a romance, but I'm hoping it's action, too. ^^; (NT) Retina 20:35:06 02/16/03 Sun hmmm. Sounds a it Taggerunyish, but I'll read it, because It's got enough in it to make it yours.And it sounds good (NT) Lyra 22:14:53 02/16/03 Sun Taggerung? Hmmm, I actually didn't have that in mind. But now that I look at it, it does have similarities....Oh, well, prologue thingy inside>>>> Rosella 21:42:54 02/17/03 Mon Mm. I like it; pretty good description, but not too much to drag the story along. You have minor flaws, just punctuation here or there. I suppose it shares a few similarities with Taggerung, but it depends on how you continue writing it. Good start! (NT) -- Retina, 22:59:00 02/17/03 Mon Interestin! (NT) -- Tangle, 21:50:03 02/18/03 Tue *grinz* Nice but I don't really get what happened to the second babe. It promises to be a good story I guess (NT) -- Southpaw, 17:33:47 02/21/03 Fri ((OOC: I like it! A bit confusing in a bit here and there but nothing that can't be hammered out in a full story. I can't wait fer the next part!)) (NT) Cori Curbob 23:15:11 02/18/03 Tue OK, here it is finally. Sorry it took so long, but we moved and I've been w/out a computer for a while. I actually wrote two different chapter one's. This one moves faster, but the other one explained a bit more. Oh well, it'll clear up in #3, I promise! (and it won't take so long, either!) Rosella 22:03:04 03/03/03 Mon KEEP GOING KEEP GOING KEEP GOING!!!!!!!!! (NT) -- Southpaw, 11:14:58 03/04/03 Tue Ooops, I meant it'll clear up in #2. Forgot that was the 1st chapter. Chapter 1 inside the previous post. (NT) Rosella 22:05:04 03/03/03 Mon Captivating, and you left it at a nice point. Though, maybe you could add more description on the characters, just to give us a hint what they look like. ^^; (NT) Retina 20:03:38 03/04/03 Tue