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Subject: I have a poem its called The World


Author:
Flamearrow
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Date Posted: 21:03:00 03/08/03 Sat

I don't know if it is good, but its something

There is a world just for me
That you have eve seen, or maybe never will see
The world that I dream is full of happness
The world I'm in is a cruel hearted place

This world that I'm in is such a horibble place
Full of death, evil, lies, creul deeds
This world is something that is a nightmare
But its not a dream, its real

The world that I dream about is better
Happness, love, and hope is at every corner
No one crys, lies, and no one is hated
This world is full of peace and harmony

I wish that I was in that world
But I'm not
One day I will be in that world
For now I'm stuck in the real world

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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Hey, that's pretty nice. Very deep. ^__^ The only thing I have to be pick-nicky about is the fact that the stanzas don't 'flow,' if you get my meaning. Overall, it's pretty good! (NT)Retina22:50:20 03/08/03 Sat
Me likes it! (NT)Tangle22:55:30 03/08/03 Sat
Thanks you guys. Well, it was my first time, and I know that I made some mistakes. I'll tkae your word Retina, I did have the stanzas wrong. Well, I'm depressed, and I have ALOT of poems, but I didn';t want to post them cause of their folws. Evryone likes them at school, but I knew there was something wrong about them. Thanks for the heads up Retina. (NT)Flamearrow03:20:30 03/09/03 Sun
Good job Flamarrow!Clubpaw23:53:57 03/10/03 Mon


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