Hiya -- 98s13

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Subject: Hiya

Author:
Kuang Li

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Date Posted: 12:22:19 04/14/04 Wed

Haa...the pop in once a month person is back! After all that project, exams and stuff...its finally over for me, though its still some time away for hua and mun, hang on there and it will be over soon..

I feel pretty relieved, finishing this phase of life and waiting excitingly for the next to come...what awaits me? I don't know...at least i know for the next 3 months, i will be relaxing and living MY life before looking for a job..

LOve...a topic i have yearned to master during the last few years but have failed even to understand 10% of it...I used to be a hopeless dreamy romantic, still remembered during my jc days, i used to go to Clementi A & W (sad to say its closed now) and order a root beer float. There was a juke box there. I would select some love songs and listen to them as i drank my float. Sometimes it would be raining outside and i will start dreaming of love stories...Haa, that also explains why i used to have so many song lyrics because i always wanted to find a song that suited my feelings at a particular time....

But the cruel reality has once and again brought me to my senses and told me that i was not not able to find that love story to happen on me and that i should stop all that dreaming...so i stopped harbouring thoughts and just started living like everyone else in the practical world, just doing things and performing tasks without daring to think beyond...I started losing the ability to dream, to imagine...just to save myself from being hurt..but in the meantime i have also lost part of my feelings towards everything and everybody...including love..
I have realised only now that i lost something precious when i met my Saggi boy. His passion for life and his enthusiasm to live each day like the last of his life really touched me..and made me realise my inadequacy...I hope to find back the strength...to feel and to love. I have fear..is he the one? Do i love him? I don't know whats love...how to know whether i love him anot? The only thing that keeps me going is that i know i am very happy with him and life is beautiful...but is this enough to keep it going? What makes people sure? What makes him sure i am the one for him? I hate this uncertainty and dying to flip to the last page of the book to read..Well, let future tell its story..what i can do is just to hope for the best to happen....

Just to share some feelings, hope i am not boring anyone..

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