bored -- 98s13

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Subject: bored

Author:
mun

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Date Posted: 19:32:51 11/22/03 Sat

i am so bored n sick of studying...... sure, i was damn motivated but then my exams dragged on for much too long for me to sustain my motivation......

kinda proud tat i am studying this much! i mean, i never really studied this much since the big As. seriously, i noe i spent time with u gers at the library in the name of mugging. but then all i ever remembered doing in the nj library was sleeping in those brown cubicles, smuggling snacks into the library n tats it!!! kinda surprised i got away with a pretty reasonable set of grades tat got me this far.

now in my errrr 5th semester in nus or my 7th semester at tertiary education, i am NOW only studyin hard from day to night. three papers went by. know i will do pretty well for them. my hard work n efforts wont fail me.

but the day before my 3rd paper (friday) i was feeling so empty....... i had in fact finished doing watever i am supposed to studyin for tat module. i no longer noe wat to study anymore. u noe how boring it gets when u hav to read the same thing again n again for the umpteen times! i started surfin n downloading stuff to watch. i am dying to get out of pgp! i spent my last few weeks here in nus n this place doesnt interest me anymore! the whole day went by without much intellectual events or exciting happening. i was suddenly subsumed in guilt. i should b studying not bumming around. it got to me! i was too overwhelmed n i was at a loss not knowing how to react to that weird mixture of feelings. when cozi called, i suddenly juz broke down.... oh gosh.... he was caught by surprise n dinnoe wat to do....i tink i scared him but he was calm n nice enuff to let me off the phone to cool down. i was also shocked by myself. i have always been way too cool about my exams all this 21 years but why am i suddenly so uptight about it???
he thought he cooped me up too much in my room n we went out together to town. feels gd breathin non-clementi air....

i find myself obsessively doing a ritual of calculating my projected CAP after every paper.... i wanna noe how far am i away from the honours cutoff.... oh man.... i am going crazy!!! blame it on nus!!! hrmp.......

i am okie now. got my period juz this morning so i tot tat outburst can be attributed to hormones surges. yah yah it is all estrogen's fault.

whew.... feel so gd tat i let it off my chest.
yeah i can go back to memorising stuff now.

anyway, i wanna start a livejournal or a blog.my friends have very nicely designed blogs n lj. but i hear them tok about choosing all tat colors usin html codes n technicalities, i got so put off. i still cant fit into the matrix....

on a lighter note, how is our december outing coming along??? hav to put it upfront to you gers, plan it cheap yah. my pockets very empty liao. miss ya all!!! hugs

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