Recent Chief Couch Article in Xavier Magazine -- XAVIER MENS BASKETBALL

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 16:53:36 04/24/02 Wed
Author: NO JUSTICE! NO PEACE!
Subject: Recent Chief Couch Article in Xavier Magazine

Here is the post that is too hot to handle:

Couch Collection
By Lisa J. Mauch

Walking into campus police chief Mike Couch�s office, you�d expect to be intimidated by police gear: handcuffs, guns, billy clubs.

Instead you�re greeted by lots of leather, whips, chains, and really, really uncomfortable chairs.

�I�m an avid S&M collector,� says Couch, who first started his sadomasochism collection 10 years ago. �I�m always going to flea markets. Anytime I see S&M paraphernalia, whether it�s nipple clamps, books, or Gimp masks I�ve been picking it up.�

Couch then procceed to expound on his favorite movie "Pulp Fiction." "Man, I really love that movie. I especially like 'The Gimp' and thought the scene was realistic and tastefully done. I even tried out for the part but Quentin and I could not agree on terms." Couch then glefully recited one of the movie's famous scenes verbatim:

Zed: "Bring out the gimp.

Maynard: Gimp's asleep.

Zed: Well I guess you gonna have to wake him up now won't you?"

His staff�s also contributed to his S&M collection with birthday and Christmas gifts, including a teddy bear wearing his own personal "Gimp" outfit modeled after Couch's "husky" Gimp outfit he always has in office for emergency situations.

Additonal highlights of his collection include an autographed picture of Dan Akroyd and Rosie O'Donnell in full S&M regalia. "I about dootied in my pants without permission when I found out Mr. Akroyd and Ms. O'Donnell were into S&M" Couch said. "I have always respected Mr. Akroyd's acting abilities and no one can question his skills. Plus, I am quite a detective and recently found out that Ms. O'Donnell is very single. Maybe I could get a date with her and have her punish me with her whiny, grating voice and gun control opinions?" He then proceed to eat nine cheese danishes without any mercy.

Couch doesn�t limit his collecting to S&M-related items, though.

�My passion at home is shrunken heads,� he says. �My dad is a retired voodoo priest and he gave me a collection of 140 shrunken heads. Over the years I�ve added to it and I now have over 200, including many drunk kids skulls I personally cracked and heads from the battlefields of the Civil War.�

Even though Couch is right at home in the Slave�s chair��Some of my fondest memories are of me at S&M kinder school at age 5 or 6 getting whipped by training Masters with licorice or shoe strings"�he�s moving to the other side. This spring he�s becoming a licensed "Master."

�I�m looking forward to working at Shriner's conventions, old folks homes, or even here in Norwood passing on the knowledge. It' like an art form that must be passed on to all future generations...are you gonna eat that?"

"I just want to protect and serve."

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> This right here is why we need another option on the boards. This was deleted as soon as it hit the other board. I have no idea how Couch has any influence over anyone, even when I was a student he had no real influence. I can personally testify that the contents of this article are ture, because he always offered to let me off the hook for my various drinking offenses so long as I would participate in his leather games. Never took him up on it though, so my student disciplinary record is a mile long. Apparently, Couch doesn't like being offered drinks from underaged kids. -- Homeskillet, 17:17:08 04/24/02 Wed

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

[> Chief Couch threatened to arrest me when I went to the crosstown shootout dressed as Art Long in a convict costume and a horses head. When I asked about my First Amendment Rights for freedom of expression one of the security guys showed me his gun. Fuck, all I had was a stuffed animal, I was no match for his manly gun toting protector of the faith. When you get a gun showed to you for asking about your right to express yourself, something is out of hand. -- Sniper, 19:29:10 04/24/02 Wed

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

[> [> CONT - What is more offensive, me dressing as Art Long, or just plain Art Long, the horse punching, wife beating, drug dealing felon. If they wanted to ban offensive people from the shootout, start with the UC roster, and Jabba the Vest. -- Sniper, 19:29:57 04/24/02 Wed

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

[> All this is great. I have one question. What sick freaking bastard decided that what the world needed was a teddy bear in leaher & studs? -- BP, 21:35:06 04/24/02 Wed

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

[> [> One has to wonder what NJ NP was surfing for when he came accross these pictures. Probably a teddy bear for his nephew, I'm sure. -- Sniper, 22:40:14 04/24/02 Wed

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> Couch threw me out of a game against OU when Gary Trent was there because I brought a big, poorly scribed poster that said "Shaq of the MAC sold Crack" with actual dollars and crack pipes taped to it. I sat right under the hoop at the Gardens and raised it when Trent shot free throws. He missed almost all of them. He tossed me not for the crack pipes (which I would have understood) but because I had money taped to it. Poor bastard, I would have given him a dollar. -- homeskillet, 11:35:11 04/25/02 Thu

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

[> This is a classic post NJNP! Keep up the good work. -- xu95, 17:44:09 04/25/02 Thu

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]