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Date Posted: 18:59:39 04/03/02 Wed
Author: Rabid, the bound and gagged Librarian
Subject: Meanwhile, in yet another part of town...
In reply to: CW 's message, "Back in anoather part of town" on 20:26:26 04/02/02 Tue

...a seedy rundown Noromo-hood part of town that is, Rabid is struggling to free herself from a burlap sack, unaware that she and her villianous kidnappers have been caught on one of CW's many surviellance cameras. The vampiric Librarian continues to gnaw at her bonds as she is bumped over the threshold of an abandoned building. A muffled grunt from one of her captors is all the warning the hapless Rabid gets before she is tossed, unceremoniously, down a flight of stairs. Luckily, the knocking about is not enough to knock out the scrappy bloodsucker. Even more luckily, the fall has loosened the knots in the burlap sacking.

Rabid sits up shaking free of her confinement just as the bare overhead bulb blares into illumination. The Librarian stares in amazement at her kidnappers.

"You!" she hisses.

"Us," Reyes says, exchanging a high-five with Agent Scully, her apparent partner in crime.

"Kidnapping is a Federal Offense," Rabid squeaks, as the dapper agents circle her, their Prado high heels clicking ominously against the concrete basement floor.

"Only if we take you across state lines," Agent Scully informs.

"And only in the United States," Reyes adds, smuggly, "For all of your Information Management Skills, Ms. Librarian you seem to constantly forget that SHIPPERVILLE isn't part of the US of A."

Rabid grimaces. It's true. She does keep forgetting that.

"Maybe she's just getting old," Scully remarks to Reyes. The red-haired agent turns to Rabid and inquires, "Didn't you just have a birthday? What are you now 110?"

"It's supposed to be hard to tell with her kind but I think she is showing her centuries?" Reyes jokes.

"Oh, you two are a riot," Rabid growls. "I might remind you Miss Scully that Mulder and I are the same age and you aren't too far behind. That show of yours has been on for 9 years now."

"Yeah, but wasn't it you who said I look BETTER now than when the show started?"

"I never said that...What I SAID was you look more unrealistic...more Hollywood than...I...uhm..." Rabid's indignant denial trails off as Scully unholsters her weapon.

"And wasn't there something else about my willingness to SHOOT people?"

"Uhmm...I didn't...that is...exactly...say that in...uhm...Shipperville!" Rabid prevaricates, as Dana sites along her automatic.

"Dana," Reyes whispers in a throaty (Milagro 'Mulder') tone of voice as she lays a cautioning hand on the other agent's bare arm.

Scully looks down at Reyes' delicate fingers snug against her own pale flesh and allows a wave of relaxation to radiate through her body from the point of contact. She sighs and lowers her weapon to a more neutral position. Reyes steps up to take point.

"Ms. Rabid, we only want to understand what is really going on," Reyes begins, "Have we offended your mystic vampire sensibilities in some unknown way that we can barely begin to imagine? Help us to get to the truth of this situation...we KNOW that the show is good...we know that CC is a genius and yet you continue to mock. You fail to believe, you..."

Rabid sighs heavily, looking into the middle distance as if bored and Reyes turns suddenly angry.

"What?" She bellows, lashing out to strike the Librarian a sound smack on the cheek, "Was that too derivative for you? Are my thoughts unoriginal? Do I look like Mulder in a skirt? You should be happy I'm here lady...because at least I believe in Vampire Rights...if it was up to John Doggett you would be dragged off to the jailhouse in broad daylight! And don't you forget it!!"

"Monica?" Scully says, softly, her tongue relishing the ability to speak a given name without sounding like a dip. Dana pouts out her luscious lips. Reyes shakes the hair back out of her eyes and twirls about to pace off the length of the room, her fashionably hip duster swirling about her as she strides.

"I can almost hear "Destiny's Child"," Rabid drawls, risking another slap. She begins to hum the tune of "Independent Woman" and then breaks into song, "Throw your hands up at me...all the honeys makin' money...throw your hands up at me."

"Stop comparing us to Charlie's Angels," Scully snaps, cocking the hammer back on her gun. "I am not Cherise Theron."

"I'll say your not," Reyes comments, distracting Dana before she can finish Rabid off.

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?"

"I mean, you are more like Cameron Diaz. I am obviously Cherise."

"You," Scully snorts. Stepping away from Rabid, the red-haired agent rakes the other woman with an appraising glare and declares, "You are obviously Lucy Liu."

"Or maybe Bosley in a skirt," Rabid, who just remembered that bullets can't kill vampires, comments under her breath. Scully turns to glare at the Librarian but then snorts in laughter.

"Bill Murray," Scully nods, still chuckling, "Yeah...not ready for prime time, that's her alright."

"Hey?" Reyes yelps, "I am the stunning female LEAD in the X-Files now, Miss Third-Wheel, where-is-my-son's-deadbeat-has-been-possibly alien-father-this-week?"

"The lead in a show that's been CANCELLED!" Scully reminds, smugly.

"Only because you and Mulder were too inept to get horizontal in eight years," Reyes snapped, "You notice that I have TWO men on tap already, three if I count Skinner. And I just arrived in town two years ago.

"SKINNER?!? You can't count Skinner," Scully returns, moving in threateningly, "If anyone is counting Skinner, I am counting SKINNER. We have shared the passion. Hot Elevator Kisses. You know he and I could have taken over that show and, furthermore, if we had...I bet it wouldn't be CANCELLED."

As she yells the last word, Scully throws a roundhouse punch at Reyes and the two female FBI agents go at it. Rabid looks on as they twirl and swirl, using slow-motion, gravity defying kicks and kung fu moves.

The Librarian begins to inch toward the stairs as she considers the battling agents and the fact that she may actually be getting old. Because when she made the original Charlies' Angels crack, the Librarian meant Scully reminded her of Kate Jackson and Reyes was more like Shelly Hack.

Rabid/Raeann
too old for this crew and yet...somehow...NOT!

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