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Date Posted: 18:30:42 08/21/02 Wed
Author: Ashley
Author Host/IP: 24.49.200.154
Subject: How do I deal?

I worked at a summer camp this summer -- I'm seventeen years old. I met another camp counselor there who I trusted, A LOT, and I opened up to her about a problem I've had for a while now. I get really down sometimes, usually about my weight, being fat -- that whole deal, even though everyone tells me I'm not fat at all. I disagree. Well, to make a long story short -- I was cutting myself -- A LOT at one point. And I started doing it again -- some of it was stress that I didn't know how to handle. Another counselor found out and told my supervisors -- who are friends -- and Judy told my mom. There was talking and crying. And until today, I haven't cut myself. How am I supposed to deal with this damn thing?! I refuse to tell my mother -- I'm not talking to her about this ever again. She said that after camp she was going to get me a counselor or someone like that to talk to and she hasn't, and GOD, I can't take this crap anymore! I want to do it so much more. I mean, at camp, i was goddamn suicidal! How do I deal with this bullshit if i don't even know what the hell is wrong with me?? If there's anyone out there who can give me any advice, i'd appreciate it, because right now i'm in the dark. I have no clue.

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