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Date Posted: 12:56:44 08/23/02 Fri
Author: Rhonda K
Author Host/IP: 216.66.152.156
Subject: Talking it out...is the best thing for you to do...
In reply to: Ashley 's message, "How do I deal?" on 18:30:42 08/21/02 Wed

I used to do the mutilation thing too. With me, I would grow my nails...and scratch, just rake my nails on my legs and arms, until they bled...the physical pain, was easier to deal with and more "real" than the emotional pain.

Being suicidal...well, that is depression girl, and it has to be talked about or it will eat away at you. With 2 attempts...it took me until I was 26 to realize that I didn't want to die, but wanted to end the pain and confusion I felt every day.

The thing about depression, is it will take hold and tear everything apart. From our self esteem and confidence, to our will to fight. Your first step, was to come online and find out some information. You are on the right road. As a teenager, I had a counsellor at school I trusted and would talk to...after high school, I lost that, and slowly went into a very deep depression..that lead to my first suicide attempt. It took me a long time to find a good therapist..but I eventually found one that specialized in grief and depression.

If your mother is not doing anything, go to your family doctor...and ask him to recommend someone. Your doctor can be a wealth of information and if you don't like the counsellor he/she recommends...go back and let them know you weren't comfortable. The thing is, no one will know how much you are hurting and just how serious it is without talking. Parents...in their loving wisdom...don't want to admit that their children are depressed...my father still finds it strange that I was on very high meds for most of the 90's. Tell your doctor you are suicidal...that you know these thoughts aren't normal..that you are blue and down alot...there is medication out there. They should try councelling first..if that is not enough, it should graduate to meds and councelling...but you do need to talk it out...All of it.

When you do find a councellor...don't feel like you have to spill your guts the first, second or third visit...build up a confidence...get to a point where you feel good about talking...if it happens the first visit...that is great, that means you are ready...if not, don't let that get to you either..it just means you need the time..to feel safe talking about everything.

Having clinical depression...is nothing to be ashamed of. There are so many of us out there, that suffer from this illness.

Please come back here and "talk" whenever you need to. I have also left my email address..if you just need that push, to help you find a way to work things out.

Hugs

Rhonda K

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  • Re: How do I deal? -- carlos, 19:37:02 12/14/04 Tue
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