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Date Posted: 20:38:20 01/16/02 Wed
Author: Jonathan
Author Host/IP: 204.32.70.117
Subject: I'm lost now... nothing to live for and everything to die for...

Life is meaningless... who am I? I am groping in shadows & darkness. I am this kid again... wiser, yet... never had made ground in those days past... Unlike those days... I am older now and the uncertainty seems more urgent the older I get! I'm 39... I look 29 though... I feel trapped... scared, and prey to the vultures out there. Inside, I feel like the 19 year old kid just before marriage. I wasn't ready, but I am wiser now. Maybe, I just need some space to think this all out. Maybe... I need to break from this isolation and get out. But I am AFRAID... because I don't want to trust again. I want to lick my wounds and yet, I know that if I don't try to get out... I will go insane!

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