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Date Posted: 16:36:46 12/29/01 Sat
Author: Rhonda K
Author Host/IP: 216.66.152.149
Subject: Yes, Lorne is there to listen...I am lucky in that sense
In reply to: Michelle 's message, "Rhonda" on 13:50:34 12/29/01 Sat

Michelle, I am sooo sorry that you have to endure this alone. Those that have not lost..as we have, don't have a clue. I had to terminate a pregnancy when I was 31, there was no choice...the fetus was not healthy and waiting would have caused health problems...like you, I greive for the life I could have brought into this world. It is a loss that very few people understand. I think about it every October 30...and every Easter...as I believe that is when my baby would have been born. I had to go to a grief therapist to deal with my grief. Not only for Lynn, but for my grandfather, for my baby...with depression on top of it all, it was hard to come to terms with the loss and how to handle it.

Lorne is a sweetheart through this. I made an ornament with Lynn's picture...and that is on my Christmas tree every year, and he accepts that. Lynn was a very important part of my life, but I also explained to Lorne that without the love that I received from Lynn, the strength to endure his suicide and the courage that I learned from him about depression..I wouldn't be the person he knows. Lynn added to my life in so many ways.

You never get over the death or loss of someone you love. I think we start loving our babies, the minute they are conceived and it is a big loss to those of us that have had a terminated pregancy or miscarriage. Grief comes in stages and the feelings you have are yours...for as long as you need them. I learned that the mind can only handle so much pain at one time...so with Death...we handle it bit by bit. In waves...if it hit us all at once..we would be consumed and so overwhelmed...that we would be totally lost in it all.

If you ever ever need to talk about this more, please email me...talking..is the first step to healing.

HUGS...MUH MUH MUH

Rhonda

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