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Date Posted: 21:48:57 07/29/01 Sun
Author: Fenny
Subject: tis depressing msg can be ignored

Just dropping a paragraph from my essay that i had been editing thorought the weekend...Ultimately my conscience would not allow me to let this paragraph seen by our junior's eyes...

Prior to this, I was saying that NS had been a test of how we well we can draw strength from one another, to support one another and most importantly to stay with one another. This paragraph is my answer...

"I think we have failed our last test. Currently, everyone seem to lose faith and the team is disintegrating. Is this merely an inaccurate assessment on my part? I don't know. But, had the lessons that we learnt afters spending 1.5 solid years a fluke? I'm currently disillusioned with everything. Perhaps I'm just being bitter. I really hope that I'm wrong. But, is the breaking of our canoeing table symbolic?"

I guess i'm just upset with my life. The mounting pressure from family and school work, the sudden disequilibrium without canoeing, everything is just eating me up, tearing me up into pieces. Something that i thought i could hold on to is disintegrating. I'm going crazy. I know that typing all these will merely worsened the already bad situtation. Yet i'm still typing it down...I don't know what i'm doing also. Clinging on to the past as Siti had put it? Or i'm just being a bitter fool that is thinking over unduly things?

Perhaps, i'm going to contradict myself with this last paragraph from my essay. But i think this paragraph ultimately reflects my overall thoughts for the team.

"Whatever that may happen, my stay in NJC would have been much less meaningful if there were to be no NJcanoeing team. The fulfilling feeling of being able to train and work together is great. Indeed the trainings, the rowing, the runs, the scolding, the stress, and all the stuff that the team had gone through together are really the test of the limit of the human heart. It is amazing how much each and every one of us has mature and grown over the years. The rush and excitement of running from tutorial blocks to the atrium and granstand for trainings is the nitty grity things that i will miss terribly. The feeling of waking up early on Saturdays and Sundays looking forward to rowing wil be terribly missed too. Canoeing not only teaches the physique but also the mental. The whole experience will change our lives dramatically. Choose to Live Life with No Regrets."

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