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Subject: 2 suggestions


Author:
Dreemdanser
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Date Posted: 09:07:25 02/13/07 Tue
In reply to: Angel 's message, "Re: many of us with similar stories" on 22:04:19 02/12/07 Mon
 first, I'm not convinced you HAVE to tell your mum the things you wish you could. Especially since she is in poor physical and mental health. But you can purge yourself of the need by doing a releasing/forgiving spell...FOR YOURSELF. When we hold onto stuff it is ourselves who are hurt. Try writing down everything you wish you could say to her and then do a spell where you release it all to the universe by possibly burning the letter (safely) or tearing it up (must be biodegradable parchment or paper) and scattering either the pieces or ashes on the wind as you forgive and let go.

As for the weight thing Most of you know I was 215 lbs 5 years ago. Anyways a lot of us tell ourselves that when we decide to lose weight then our lives will be better, then this will improve or that will not be a problem or then we will do this or that that we have avoided doing. So the weight becomes and excuse for not fully living and especially for numbing our feelings....we eat instead of feeling. We "stuff" it down and bury the feelings. When you decide to take care of yourself fully and love yourself fully and be healthy because it is part of your harm none life...then you end up having to feel and having to be honest with issues and with yourself. This seems scary at first but it is only different. It is not worse. We tell ourselves that the feelings will overwhelm us and we will not be able to deal. The biggest thing we can ever realize about feelings is that they do not control us. Feelings are just feelings. they are not our actions or decisions. they are not us. they are not even necessarily unchangable. Feelings can be under our own control. the trick is to feel them and accept what we are feeling and then decide whether or not to keep feeling that way or what if any action to take. Using a substance like food to numb the feelings only keeps us detatched from ourselves and from life.

Being healthy and not abusing food makes it easier to cope with tough times, not harder. We just lie to ourselves and tell ourselves we can't deal with what life dishes out without our substance abuse (cause that's what it is). When you stick to your healthy lifestyle and choices even in the midst of crisis and trauma you at least have SOMETHING that you are in positive control of (your health and self esteem) even if there isn't much you can do about the crisis! I have had numerous really horrific circumstances to put this all to the test over the past 5 years...and not only is it do-able but it helps to be able to focus on something good and important other than the looming crisis and or aingst.

L&L,
Dreemy
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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Re: 2 suggestionsAngel07:29:00 02/14/07 Wed

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