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Date Posted: 07:21:43 07/11/10 Sun
Author: Jack
Subject: Muslims Strike in Britain


Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in
the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to
produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced the number of
virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by
25% beginning July 1 from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was
the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a
subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (or /BOOM/) responded with a statement this is unacceptable to
its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General
Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally
working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for
much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he
currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama Black bin Liner
explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is
simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not
accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.

Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins
in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure
and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have
to tell 3000 of my staff they won't be able to blow themselves up."

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland , Wales
and the entire *Australian* continent stated the strike would not affect
their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway".

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down
to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle, Now that
Muslims know what a virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to
paradise.

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