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Date Posted: 18:37:04 09/25/01 Tue
Author: BonsaiBiker
Subject: Pain and Identities

The more emotional pain I feel, the more likely it is that I am clinging to some identity of "me" that I have created.

I cannot feel hurt... unless I first create an "I"... to feel the hurt.

And the more I cling to my "I", the more likely I will feel pained more acutely.

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[> Re: Pain and Identities -- BonsaiBiker, 18:42:21 09/25/01 Tue


Noone can emotionally hurt you.

You can only emotionally hurt yourself.

When you feel hurt by someone else's actions, don't ask, "why are you doing this to me?"

Ask instead, "why am I doing this to myself?"

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[> The value of emotional pain... -- BonsaiBiker, 18:51:34 09/25/01 Tue


is that it reveals our addiction to our "I".

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[> The separating quality of "love." -- BonsaiBiker, 19:14:35 09/25/01 Tue


You cannot have "love" in a relationship.... unless you have two people who see themselves as separate and apart from each other first... participating in a dance where one "I" loves the other "I"... and vica versa.

The creation of "I love you" requires that my "I" be separate and apart from your "I". One "I" must be the subject or lover, and the other "I" the object or loved one.

"Love", therefore, can be a separating ingredient between two dance partners.

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