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Re: Haddock -- Edmond Leachman, 16/06/07 7:26am
I tried to clear the cobwebs from my brain, as Nicola the Checkslovokiaian bartender has always advised by drinking large quantities of vodka but there was none to be found…
I did however discover a Raleigh bicycle hidden in the brambles and stumbling to my feet I rode off… only to fall down the nearby shaft.
When I awoke there was a guttering candle and a canary which was obviously in distress and coughing up coal dust with little puffs coming out of it’s beak at regular intervals. With what must have been it’s last breath it blew out the candle and I was plunged into darkness again.
Summoning all my strength I reached for the canary in the darkness and …
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Re: Haddock -- Brinton Cricklestump, 18/06/07 7:50pm
..began pumping its tiny feathered-chest for all my worth.. but sadly the canary had passed on. Feeling my way round in the darkness I found an empty shoebox and carefully laid the canary inside. I managed to get my left hand on the lid and placed it on the shoebox. Grasping round again and wiping my brow I managed to find a shovel, 2 pieces of wood which I carved a cross out of and some nails which I nailed the wood together with. This was achieved with the hammer I kept strapped to my left ankle for moments such as this - James Bond-like. As I began to consider my next move I heard a loud bang from around 2 o`clock followed by the pitter-patter of timy...
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Re: Haddock -- Edmond Leachman, 18/06/07 9:13pm
…pigmy goats running from the fireball that was rapidly approaching from the bowels of the earth and the other shaft I had almost stepped backward into…
I reached for the hammer in my ankle holster, swung it into a nearby timber and held on for dear life, I thought I was a dead man but just as the fireball reached me it vanished. It was then I realized there was no oxygen in the chamber…
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Re: Haddock -- Brinton Cricklestump, 19/06/07 12:10pm
... Panic-stricken I dashed towards a small light which caught my eye in the distance. Gasping for breath I stumbled and fell over an upturned chair. By this time the pygmy goats, all 46 of them, were stampeding towards me, their slobbering faces, tongues hanging out, eyes bulging and bewildered. I summoned the strength from somewhere, pulled myself up and carried on running as fast as I could towards the light. The lead pygmy goat was mow breathing down my neck so I hurled the hammer..
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Re: Haddock -- Edmond Leachman, 19/06/07 4:23pm
…suddenly lighter without that hammer clapping against my ankle, I put considerable distance between myself and the asphyxiating goats. Reaching the light I found a door marked “NO EXIT”, grasping the latch I swung it open and found myself…
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Re: Haddock -- Brinton Cricklestump, 19/06/07 7:25pm
... in a vast sub-terannean world inhabited by weird beings the like i`d never laid eyes on before. Their leader conspicouos by his large bulbous head spoke to me telephatically, he said. "You are the first earth dweller that has visited our world, take this gift to your leader and tell him we mean you no harm".. the strange being handed me a glittering rock, the like i`d never seen before. I thanked him and floated towards a...
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Re: Haddock -- Edmond Leachman, 19/06/07 9:00pm
…oddly out of place Chinese take-away shop which seemed to also just be floating about. As I reached the window to place my order, I was just as suddenly sucked up what seemed like a ventilation shaft. Cursing having disposed of my trusty hammer I clawed at the walls of the shaft with my free hand trying to slow my accent…
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Re: Haddock -- Brinton Cricklestump, 21/06/07 8:57pm
... I hit the ground with a thump and lay their semi-conscious. Instinctively I tried to move my toes to check that I had`nt done any serious damage to myself and laughed out load when my toes moved in unison as requested. In the darkness I heard a grunting noise "Who`s there?" I shouted, nervously. An odd sounding voice came back "It`s me Cricklestump.. we`ve been waiting for you for a very long time.. you know where you are don`t you?"
"Well it certainly seems rather hot down here" I repled "Could it be...
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Re: Haddock -- Edmond Leachman, 21/06/07 9:12pm
…Freedmans Bakery (home of some of the best muffins known to mankind)? The voice replied nooooo, guess again but I am warning you that you have only two guesses left. Images raced through my mind, I started to sweat profusely either from the knowledge that I only had two more guesses left or the intense heat. May I have a glass of water I asked, trying to buy some more time…
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Re: Haddock -- Brinton Cricklestump, 22/06/07 9:08pm
... WATER!!! he bellowed nooooo, but i`ll give you a clue (this won`t go towards your two guesses by the way) he sniggered. The clue is, and i`m sorry if it`s a bit vague, the clue is, It`s a place where people are sent when they have committed nasty deeds on earth and it`s run by a red chap with a funny tail and two little horns stuck on top of his head. Hm.. I mumbled.. it`s a difficult one.. but will you tell me when i`m getting hot...
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Re: Haddock -- Edmond Leachman, 23/06/07 4:51pm
…as my voice trailed off thoughts again raced through my mind, why had I tossed away my hammer in the tunnel, I missed my moles and what the hell were 46 pygmy goats doing down a mine shaft? It was then it struck me, I hadn’t noticed it before but it seems the strange glittering rock had be hovering somewhere behind me. Wiping the blood that was running down my face with my handkerchief, I snatched the glittering rock with my free hand. Just as suddenly as before I was whisked upward, again I saw an ever growing speck of light. With an almost imperceptible whoosh I was once again standing in the meadow with the confused looking sheep and oddly the Gideon`s Dairy milkfloat resting on it’s roof, with the wheels slowly spinning…
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