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Date Posted: 24/07/07 6:40pm
Author: Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Subject: Re: Decline of gnomes
In reply to:
Fredric Frothington III
's message,
"Re: Decline of gnomes" on
23/07/07 6:27pm
My good Sirs,
I have been contacted by Malcolm Smith who is quite anxious you cease and desist your plans to drop incendiary ordnance on his garden and surrounding areas. I have looked into the matter and the OAP you have contracted with is as likely to fly straight into the control tower as hit your intended target. While my firm has employed tactics such as this in the past, let me assure you it was only as a last resort and to either secure payment of monies owed or a favorable business decision for our client.
Our highly trained partners Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije of Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije Ltd. are trained in making surgical strikes such as this and minimizing collateral damages. Should you so desire they have indicated an almost zealous desire to carry out the strike you desire and assure me that Mr. Smith and his Welsh corgi would not be harmed and they will make every effort to spare Smith’s cottage.
If this offer is amicable please contact my offices to make the necessary arrangements and payment. Mr. Smith on the other hand has indicated he is willing to put his whelk stall up as collateral for a retaliatory strike should you carry out your present plan. Knowing Pankracije’s taste for conger I am sure the outcome would not be in your best interests.
Sincerely,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
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