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Date Posted: 31/10/08 7:39pm
Author: Brian
Subject: Re: marmalade for the masses
In reply to:
philsno1
's message,
"marmalade for the masses" on
31/10/08 1:01pm
Well not to get your knickers in a knot I am sure Sir Richard has a very good reason for this, although I have been pondering it for a while and can't seem to think what it could be. I might suggest if orange marmalade is such and important part of your life then perhaps you may want to smuggle some on the train in say a wooden leg! Now this of course would entail a wee bit of amputation but that's your choice as it were. If you decide to go through with this plan my Uncle Jim was a medic in the war and pretty handy with a saw and scalple. He's also on the dole so a few quid here and there come in handy.
Brian
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Replies:[>
Re: marmalade for the masses -- Rodney Wanker,
2/11/08 4:27am
As an unofficial spokesperson for the Virgin Group let me set to rest the details surrounding the ban on Orange Marmalades on Virgin Trains and indeed on all other Virgin transportation and entertainment venues. The reason is really quite simple. On a recent outing Sir Richard used his Virgin Limobike service to get through traffic quickly. Upon arrival at his destination which was fancy dress Sir Richard was shocked to realize that his immaculate white tuxedo had be irreparably stained by Orange Marmalade, especially embarrassing was the stain was located on the seat of his trousers which gave the appearance that Sir Richard had somehow soiled himself.
Needless to say the Lomobike driver was sacked on the spot and it was reported that the Limobike was last seen being tipped into a nearby skip. Upon Sir Richards’s return he summoned the board of directors and ordered the immediate ban on Orange Marmalade on all Virgin Transportation, of course Virgin Galactic already had a ban on sticky runny foodstuffs and sparkling water and wines.
So you can plainly see this was not a capricious decision on Sir Richards’s part but a deliberate move to protect Virgin customers from such embarrassments in a responsible global and ecological way that is characteristic of The Virgin Group.
Rodney “two-fisted” Wanker
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