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Date Posted: 24/08/06 10:29am
Author: Mortimer Crumbcake (MERD Pharmaceutical Group announces new product!)
Subject: Re: Microsoft
In reply to:
Freddy "Laughs in Wind" Flatulence
's message,
"Re: Microsoft" on
23/08/06 9:27pm
Freddy,
Although you did not mention your ethnic background it seems you are indeed having some problems with the proper dosage of Panexa™, let me be the first to assure you you’re not alone. Clinical studies have shown that 99% of subjects taking Panexa™ have a difficult time remembering when to take the next dose. This of course leads to disorientation and in most cases thinking you already took the next dose, so patients taking Panexa™ often underdose leading to tragic results.
We here at MERD Pharmaceutical Group are working round the clock to assure that you get the proper dose of Panexa™, that is why we are proud to introduce the "Panexa™ Autodose Apparatus" or PAA as we like to call it. Let me explain how the PAA works in conjunction with Panexa™, first you are fitted by a qualified taxidermist who will take many measurements which you would not understand anyway. Then the order is placed and in less than 48 hours a custom made PAA is delivered to your door free of charge*.
The PAA is easy to use and in clinical trials most patients suffered very little **, to use the PAA simply strap it on your back like a scuba tank, attach the power supply and the PAA takes care of the rest. Some patients complained of fatigue and leg pain the first few days, so if the 200KG lead shielded containment tank or the two automotive batteries in the belt pack make movement difficult it is suggested that you lie down right where you are. That is unless you are crossing a busy street.
Once you have fully charged the PAA it makes forgetting Panexa™ a thing of the past. Once activated the hydraulics in the PAA immediately draw a dose of Panexa™ from the containment tank, and the microprocessor controlled hypodermic system delivers a dose of Panexa™ according to a factory set programme. The dosage may be increased by the patient by simply pressing any of the buttons conveniently located on the locking straps.
So you see, you can once again forget about complicated schedules, missed doses and get back to living life again. Panexa™ and MERD Pharmaceutical Group will assure it.
Sincerely,
Mortimer Crumbcake
Senior Sales Representative
MERD Pharmaceutical Group.
"Third World Sales Our Specialty"
Notes:
*= Due to shipping restrictions batteries are shipped without electrolyte which must be obtained locally. Average time to charge battery is 37 hours.
**= In tests subjects stopped mentioning pain and became quiet shortly after activation of the PAA. In some cases it was found that silence was a symptom of death which in no way was related to either Panexa™ or the PAA and MERD Pharmaceutical Group.
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