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Date Posted: 11/10/06 12:40pm
Author: Melanie Smith (Peace)
Subject: Re: JOHOVAH WITNESS
>I AM DOING world religions at Bible SCHOOL AND
>WOULD LIKE TO DO JOHOVAH WITNESS. I DONT KNOW MUCH
>ABOUT IT AND WONDERED IF ANYONE COULD TELL ME SOME
>FACTS AND WHAT THEIR BELIEFS ARE/.
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Re: JOHOVAH WITNESS -- Robert MacDonald (Expert in Everything),
11/10/06 5:43pm
Well Melanie,
They are actually "Jehovah’s Witnesses", a Christian religious group, founded in 1872 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, by American clergyman Charles Taze Russell. Jehovah's Witnesses regard themselves as practitioners of primitive Christianity and consider each Witness a minister.
They usually run in pairs, roaming neighborhoods and littering doorsteps with "Watchtower" and other pamphlets. Should a unsuspecting person actually answer the door, they have been known to spend hours shoving pamphlets and quoting the bible. This usually results in the "victim" or convert as they like to call them going completely insane.
The popular book "Spotting Religious Zealots" describes the typical Jehovah’s Witnesses as follows. The male of the species can usually be spotted at a distance, usual plumage for the adult male is black shoes, black pants, a starched white shirt and a dark usually monotone necktie. They are also likely to be carrying a small black briefcase under their arm. The female is similar in appearance with sensible black shoes, below the knee black skirt, and a white blouse buttoned to the collar. She will also usually be seen with a similar small black case suspended by a shoulder strap and carried close to the body. Adornments such as jewelry or makeup are a rarity. Hair is kept neatly trimmed, the males resembles Ted Koppel’s, while the female usually wears her hair in a bun.
A little known fact is the Warner Brothers character "Tasmanian Devil" was actually modeled after Charles Taze Russell. Jack Warner had a chance meeting with him as a young man and was forever scarred by the event, later describing him as a whirling dervish, slavering and spouting quotations from the bible. One of the Warner staff artists made a sketch and a cartoon icon was born. Jack Warner was also the model for "Porky Pig" as after his encounter with Charles Taze Russell which reportedly lasted sixty hours, Jack rose up from the davenport and exclaimed "That’s All Folks" before throwing them out of the house.
So Melanie I hope that clears things up for you and your friends at bible school. If you need any more advice on other religions please contact me as I am sure I can tell you all about Hassidic Jews, Mormons or just about any of the others.
Robert MacDonald
Expert in Everything
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Re: JOHOVAH WITNESS -- Hamish Natrat,
11/10/06 9:41pm
The Church of the Latter Day Well-Off is a new branch of the Jehova`s freshly formed in North Dakota. The Desciples of the "Well-Off" as they like to be known ride around on Harleys threatening people with violence into parting with their cash, although it must be said they are`nt just in it for the money.
The esteemed leader of the group Reverend Jesse Blossomstein
can often be seen sunning himself by the pool surrounded by a bevy of beauties on one of his many ranches.
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Re: JOHOVAH WITNESS -- Robert MacDonald (Expert in Everything), 11/10/06 10:28pm
Hamish,
I interviewed Reverend Jesse Blossomstein for my book "Spotting Religious Zealots", at the time he explained to me they were actually a spin off of The Church of the Latter Day Saints (Mormons) however to conceal the true nature of their polygamy and avoid trouble with the law they claim to be Jehovah’s Witnesses. Which is actually more believable than Hindus who believe that monkeys are manifestations of the monkey god Hanuman. However if you look closely at their Harley Davidson emblems the unmistakable image of the Mormon Tabernacle can be seen laser etched with proper polarizing glasses.
The Reverend Jesse was not always Well-Off, in fact he was born to an impoverished family in Kentucky who later moved to North Dakota to avoid imprisonment. His Disciples have done well for the Reverend, as you mentioned they have developed a foolproof method of collecting money for the church.
Some of his Disciples have even carried their ministry to the state prisons and penitentiaries, they are know as "Bubbas" on the inside and still practice their faith in spite of religious persecution. Although cash money is in short supply on the "inside" they still practice their faith through extortion of cigarettes and commissary vouchers. As well as "protecting" some of the not so well off inmates.
Well I hope this clears this up.
Robert MacDonald
Expert in Everything
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