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Date Posted: 20/12/06 12:45am
Author: Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq. (Not Nearly Festive)
Subject: Re: Chimney Security Services
In reply to: Meat Free Chicken Casserole 's message, "Chimney Security Services" on 14/12/06 10:50am

My Good Sir, Meat Free Chicken Casserole,

It has come to my attention that Mr. Twoddly Bobshonks of the Ministry of Domestic Munitions has received some complaints about Chimney Security Services. In particular it seems that the Non Lethal Spear Gun firing a 4 foot bolt of depleted uranium up the chimney at anything that attempts to enter has got his attention. There seem to be a few reports of these bits of depleted uranium showing up in nearby school yards. You might consider removing that particular item from inventory and use for a while. Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije of Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije Ltd. have so far been able to remove the offending depleted uranium to the old zinc mine but report that the shaft is nearly full and the animals around that area are mutating.

But on to my holiday message, so far this year we have had no major incidents since our merger, Anthony Kneebreaker’s Cadillac is still in one piece. I do however regret Bodger and Mr. Di’Atelli’s untimely demise this time last year. Hamidi’s sausage, Second hand food, Panexa™, wax cylinder MP3 players, Hairy Mongolian Political Commentary Sheep, Kind and Caring Problem Solvers profits from the petrol station and froth producing canines solving the Worldwide shortage of cappuccino froth are just a few of our joint accomplishments this year. But I must caution you to look into the matter mentioned above re: Chimney Security Services lest it impact the profits in a negative way.


Sincerely,

Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law

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