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Date Posted: 4/01/07 9:39pm
Author: Winstanley Pugwash (distant relative)
Subject: Re: New Years liquidation sale
In reply to:
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
's message,
"New Years liquidation sale" on
2/01/07 7:00pm
Hi,
I`m very interested in lots 2, 7, and 10. I would like to offer £5 cash for the 3 lots or exchange for the foloowing:
1. One rotting Elephant`s corpse, sex unknown.
2. One 14 gallon oil drum, handy if you have 14 gallons of oil without-a-home.
3. A genuine ming dynasty vase; the only one in existence. Will sell seperately for £20 or 3 for £50. Trade enquiries also welcome.
4. A mutilated iguanas buttock (left-side). Taken in P/X for a loanshark debt.
5. One stench ridden loaf of mothers pride bread. 27 years old and reeks to high heaven. Suitable gift for mother-in-law?
6. A glow in the dark torch. Handy if you often have powercuts.
7. Half a fishing rod.
8. One goldfish bowl. Goldy passed away last tuesday. He was 12 and loved chasing foxes.
9. Audio tape of Saddam`s last words. Hear him trading insults with George and Tony - yes they were present, with hoods on - just before he dropped.
10. 386 packets of Obediah`s Winegums.
I look forward to hearing from you..
Regards
Winstanley Pugwash (distant relative)
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Re: New Years liquidation sale -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq. (Pugwash!! No realtion at all, must be someone else),
5/01/07 1:48am
My dear Winstanley,
Pugwash, Pugwash Ah now I remember it seems Great Grandfather had that "indiscretion" the family often whispered about. Well anyway I will not let that stand in the way of commerce. You say you would like lots 2, 7, and 10, well I will take your bid of £5 cash and consider also some of the items in trade. As we already have One rotting Elephant’s corpse, in the skip out back since last year I am afraid that is out of the question. However the stench ridden loaf of mothers pride bread. 27 years old is intriguing. As for the genuine ming dynasty vase; the only one in existence, how many of these "one of a kind" vases can you supply by Tuesday next?
I could really use the 386 packets of Obediah`s Winegums, however if you could find 14 more to include it would supply my entire guest list for dinner next week. Therefore I make you this offer, in exchange for the 1960Cadillac, Coup de’ville, Model "355" tree chipper (Must warn you the teeth are jammed solid in the rotor housing) and contents of the storage locker I would make a trade for the Obediah`s Winegums (only if you can make it 400 even), the stench ridden loaf of mothers pride bread (27 years must be verified by date stamp) and an option on as many one of a kind genuine ming dynasty vases as you can supply along with a handling fee of £2 cash we have a deal.
Sincerely,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
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