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Date Posted: 2/04/07 5:05pm
Author: British Gas
Subject: Re: Mr Therm
In reply to:
Roger Stewart
's message,
"Mr Therm" on
2/04/07 2:38pm
Roger,
We at British Gas are glad that you have decided to pay your past due account. We never like to resort to the ugly business of collections, your present situation with Mr. Sid Alcock being an example of how simple misunderstandings turn into more serious problems.
I might suggest that when you are ready to release Mr. Alcock that you barricade yourself behind a sturdy door and use a string to release the latch of the cupboard. I would not want to be in your shoes now that you have obviously overreacted and assaulted a Royal Marine. However it does seem that this Mr. Alcock is not too angry with you, his mutterings about plunging a Fairbairn dagger into you neck would indicate that at least he would dispatch you quickly with as little pain as possible. Rest assured the Royal Marines have extensive training in ways to kill a man, some of which are designed to prolong the process for “interrogation” purposes.
It is unfortunate he has been on hunger strike; you might have at least gotten some droppings for your chosen fuel source. Should you wish to continue to be supplied by British Gas, please come by the office and consult with one of our friendly representatives (all former Special Boat Services) who will assist you in establishing your credit and applying for home service. Although we are not officially allowed to use the slogan, I like to think that "By Strength and Guile" appropriatly sums up our commitment to customer satisfaction.
British Gas
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