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Date Posted: 27/04/07 8:27pm
Author: Dinsdale Rabidlobes
Subject: Re: Crazy?
In reply to:
The Vicar of Hacklier
's message,
"Re: Crazy?" on
27/04/07 8:16am
Number 756693,
You and me have so much in common. When I was a young lad of 47, my father, wearing a floral dress around his naked bullet-riddled kneecaps and a huge cheesy grin would threaten to have me thrown off of cheddar gorge if I did`nt stop giving him lip or as Dad would call it; Answer-e-backery Gibberishy!
I would playfully throw battery acid at dad and laugh like a demented jackass with Ma as pops squealed in delightful agony on the floor of the house we were squatting in.
Mother looked a sight in her steel toe capped ex-army boots size 14 with her bloodstained balaclava lying adjacent to PC Wilkins the village bobby who she`s shot by mistake and died (ALLEGEDLY:-) some weeks earlier. The neighbours called us "The Family Who Gave Hell A Good Name." How they loved us..
Do please tell me more about yourself though, do you have any siblings?
My remains
D Rabidlobes (Stark raving Mad and Potty to boot)
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Re: Crazy? -- Alfie,
27/04/07 9:30pm
Dinsdale,
It’s me Alfie, sorry about the Number 756693 rot but after a while, well you know sitting in my room pulling legs off spiders and roasting them with a magnifying lens I have just gotten into the habit. So how are your Mum and Dad, I trust they haven’t been run out by the polo crowd, snotty buggers. I used to love that battery acid trick of yours, always gave me a smile. You might recall it was your Mum shot my sister Pam about 3 weeks after PC Wilkins, aside from the missing fontal lobe she has been fine. Pam married and now has three wonderful children in Dorset. They hardly notice the vacant expression and drooling (I think she would be happy not to have to hear them screech however) the twitching is getting worse.
Write soon or better yet come visit and don’t forget to bring a wheel of Gouda as I find it less irritating than the soap cakes they supply here.
And they call me crazy…
Alfie
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Re: Crazy? -- Number 756693 (OH, I just want to KILL< KILL <KILL),
29/04/07 12:54pm
Dinsdale,
I thought you would be round by now, I cut off my leg last night and wired it to the steam radiator to cook, even had a few carrot I had grown in the mould in the corners. Had rather looked forward to your visit but it seems that is not to be. I also had a nice rat stewing in vinegar and applesauce for just such an occasion. Now I don’t know what I’ll do with the rat, certainly not give it to that bastard Nick. Perhaps if old Tommy in the next room can make a string of paper clips like he did before he can throw the chain over and I’ll hook the rat to it.
Just noticed the sky is green again and from what I hear it is possible to “piss up a rope” so you see I wasn’t crazy after all, it was you and my wife Doris who put you up it in the first place. I should have known what with you and she down at the pub every night…
Number 756693
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