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Date Posted: 9/05/06 9:11pm
Author: Dr Barry Ronaldson Head of Care Fulchester Unit, Preston
Subject: Re: Grand Opening cancellation
In reply to:
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
's message,
"Re: Grand Opening cancellation" on
9/05/06 6:13pm
Dear Roger
Further to my previous message I have some good and bad news to report. The bad news is that Timothy overpowered 6 female wardens overnight and escaped by posing as a visiting probation officer. Apparently "George" the butchest of our female wardens, (you can picture the type), tatooed, muscular arms, geezers gait, and a gruff-booming voice to match, tried to administer a liquid cosh dose by intrevenous injection to Timothy, when he, (Timothy) was having none of it and punched George flush on the jaw knocking her sparko.
According to eyewitnesses the other 5 female wardens were set upon in a frenzy by deranged Timothy and were shoved unceremoneously into an empty broomcupboard.
Anyway the upshot of the story and the "good news" is that Timothy was captured later that evening by a special constable who shot Timothy with a 40,000 volt stun-gun after being warned on the police radio that Timothy was a dangerous psycopath who would stop at nothing to escape so
Jamelia (the special c)took their advice and nicked him after he was stunned into submission.
Many thanks again for kind help.
Sincerely
Dr Barry Ronaldson
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Re: Grand Opening cancellation -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.,
9/05/06 9:27pm
Dr. Ronaldson,
I can only advise you to keep Mr. Davenport, strapped to a handcart and manacled at all times, as you have plainly discovered he is a very, very sick individual. I will send Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije over right away to collect him, Zvonimir says he has a dose of something from the "old country" that will make him as docile as a mouse. Pankracije is welding some steel plate to the lorry to prevent escape and Vladimer is rigging the special gas should Zvonimir’s plan fail.
If Mr. Davenport does try to escape again, feel free to use deadly force. Our deal still stands as we only wish what is best for Tim, and the steamer trunk full of pound notes will be your to keep no matter what.
Sincerely,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
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Re: Grand Opening cancellation -- Dr Barry Ronaldson Head of Care Fulchester Unit, Preston,
9/05/06 9:46pm
Dear Roger
I will order my staff to immediately untie Davenport from the asylum`s inner electric fence and get them to chain, manacle and weld him (if necessary) to a handcart. I think we have a suitable one, it was donated by Lady Daphne De Ponsonby-Smithers some years ago along with some paintings and
a victorian inlaid silver snuffbox, delightful little thing. Please send Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije over as soon as possible to collect Davenport as I fear he may be becoming suicidal. Please also tell Zvonimir not to forget the "old country" dose.
I`m very pleased to hear that our deal still stands and trust that the steamer trunk full of pund notes will be delivered to one of my country residences again ASAP.
Sincerely
Dr Barry Ronaldson Phd, Bsc, Cantab, With Honours.
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Re: Grand Opening cancellation -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq., 9/05/06 11:17pm
My dear, Dr Barry Ronaldson Phd, Bsc, Cantab, With Honours,
How glad I am to hear your staff has welding equipment, as soon as your staff and Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije wheel Mr. Davenport into the lorry if it would not be too much of a bother could you weld the doors shut. You might want to show Zvonimir the snuffbox as he is quite keen on snuffboxes and has a large collection himself. Just give the address where you would like the steamer trunk full of pound notes delivered an as long as things are welded up tight I am sure making delivery to your estate will not be a problem.
Do you have a supply of ether? It may be advisable to soak a mattress in ether so Tim has a good rest during transport.
It’s been a pleasure and I trust you will keep this whole business to yourself.
Sincerely,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
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