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Date Posted: 23/05/06 7:29am
Author: Marvin Westmuler
Subject: Re: Grand Opening
In reply to:
Compress-a-Cat International
's message,
"Grand Opening" on
22/05/06 9:31pm
Do not take your kitty to Hairball Express, I took my beloved Fluffy to one of their "demonstrations" last week and now all I have to remember Fluffy by is a stinking litterbox.
The staff although quite pleasant took my Fluffy, restrained her in a steel cylinder and before my eyes expelled all of Fluffy’s internal content about 1500 feet. Fluffy was returned about 15 minutes later and turned completely inside out, not to mention dead.
Marvin Westmuler
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Re: Grand Opening -- Winifred Grimes,
23/05/06 11:00am
I am currently suing Hairball Express in the small claims court. After seeing an ad in our local shop window which read: "Hairballs removed from your moggy in the blink of an eye - and cheaply to boot" I took my beloved Herman along to have the "treatment."
Being a senior citizen and spritely for her age I was waiting in the waiting room when I heard some awful screaming bordering on SCREACHING actually. It turned out to be poor Herman. He was frothing at the mouth, lurching back-and-forth, eyes rolling, paws quivering, tail wagging erratically and generally looking like he was possessed. I asked Mr Abramaski the head-vet if this was usual who repled "relax madam, this is just the first stage in the lengthy process, Herman will also be reacting VIOLENTLY in a moment this is just the calm before the storm so to speak."
The upshot was that Herman died later that evening in my arms and I did`nt even get to say goodby to him. It is so sad, when I think, we adopted Herman as a kitten because no other bugger wanted him, he was a little sod really, always fighting with other cats, chasing birds and pissing in the sink etc but he did`nt deserve to go in such an undignified and horrific way. My advice is, stay away from these people and if necessary have your cat shaved from head to foot so hairballs won`t be a problem. Your cat will be an outcast and look a complete prat but at least he`ll survive!
Yours Faithfully
Winifred "Winnie" Grimes
Tahnk you...
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Re: Grand Opening -- Boris Schultz,
23/05/06 1:57pm
Dear Winifred
I`m very sorry to hear about the events that took place and the eventual sad loss of poor Herman but you are either a very STUPID COW or a born LIAR in my book as I have nothing but good things to report regarding Hairball Express.
Here is MY story:
My cat was suffering from a severe, prolonged, bout of melancholic depression when I saw the advertisement that Hairball Express was running in the Exchange & Mart.
Since having the treatment "Adolfio" (my half-tibetan half-siamese pedigree cat) has found a new lease of life it seems. To my mind Hairball Express (who incidently also offer a free shampoo and nail-clip to every 500th customer) are the best company of their genre in the entire world and for you to slate them like this is really beyond human comprehension.
Hairball Express are a young company, it`s true, and as such like any other new company have had their teething problems, but again I reiterate, for you to make Hairball Express a "scapegoat" for the death of your diluted-breed feeble excuse for a feline is almost too much to bear.
I note from the transcripts of your case you stated that you were`nt given a copy of Hairball Express`s eloquent terms and conditons, "WELL DID YOU ASK FOR A COPY???".. I thought not. Had you done so you will have no doubt read section 27 paragraph 53, line 14, where it clearly states: "We the afore mentioned company ~ Hairbal Express ~ cannot and will not be held responsible for any misdemeanors, deaths and/or mutilations to any living creature whilst said creature is in (or out) of our custody... The terms and condition are there as clear as day for all to see with a standard, off- the-peg, electron nanoscope.
like a lot of old people these days you want to blame the "young entrepreneur" for your woes and play the "i`m just an helpless old codger" card, when in fact you should be getting off your lazy fat aged arses and doing something for yourselves for a change. Anyway, i`m sorry if i`m being perhaps a tad over-zealous but it makes me bloody angry to think that such a wonderful, customer/cat friendly AND whatsmore cost-effective company like Hairball Express should suffer because of the odd, batty, eccentric individual, with nothing better to do with their time than to take out lawsuits willy-nilly!
Ends.
P.S. Out of the goodness of your heart would you re-consider
suing my company.. sorry.. I.. I.. mean Hairball Express?
Sincerely
Boris Schultz
Former proud owner of Hairball Express.
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