Sufferers of Meeting Phobia -- The University of the Bleeding Obvious: Messageboard

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Date Posted: 24/05/06 12:32am
Author: B. Haviour
Subject: Sufferers of Meeting Phobia

The association for people who are terrified of gatherings would like to hold its annual get together. Unfortunately, in past years attendance has been terrible. Out of over 5000 members, only one turned up, and that was only after watching the entrance for four hours to make sure nobody else was coming. The meeting report said dinner was OK, but the progressive dance was a total farce, with a paucity of partners to choose from.

This year we are soliciting suggestions from members on how we may do this. As a legal entity we are obliged to have an annual meeting with all board members present. The inability to hold this meeting in previous years has left us open to legal action, which we constantly defend using membership fees.

The very worst affected of our members are unable to even visit this forum, but for those here already, I ask for your input on what to do.

Yours in terror

B. Haviour

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Replies:

[> Re: Sufferers of Meeting Phobia -- Albert Weinstein, 24/05/06 12:37pm

Might I suggest we meet in total darkness over Hackney Marshes on June 10th. England are playing their first world cup game that evening so the place will be empty, hopefully.

May I also suggest that flashlights are banned as this could cause widespread panic, a possible stampede and the river lea to be awash with dead bodies and generally looking like an upmarket version of the Ganges.

Maybe you should charge an upfront fee and only allow Scottish Jews to belong to the Sufferers of Meeting Phobia
club? that way everyone will show up through fear of being out of pocket for a few quid!

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