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Date Posted: 22/07/06 2:55pm
Author: Martin and Gwen Sniffle Co-Directors Sniffle Coconuts Wigan,
Subject: Re: Canadian Coconut Growers Co-op
In reply to:
Hamidi Azzizi
's message,
"Re: Canadian Coconut Growers Co-op" on
21/07/06 11:37pm
Dear Fellow Coconut Growers Elite
I do remember your famous chain of sausage factories and found it slightly suspicious that each one of your factories was not only next door to pet food suppliers but also as later revealed in a lengthy court case you "accidently" as you cleverly put it connected the pet food suppliers waste pipes into your sausage making machines. All is forgiven now though and i`m sure you accepted your punishment and served your 10 years on your very best behaviour. In any case people are dying of food poisoning the world over so what`s a few dozen more gonna do!
Putting all that to one side I take your point about the coconut being a very delicate fruit but try saying that to the poor buggers who have lost their lives over the years to the bloddy things dropping out of the sky!
I do apologise I lost myself a little there but going back to the coconut being delicate I agree with you there and for optimum growth said coconut must be facing sand. Ideally Blackpool pleasure beach would be a superb location for growing coconuts. Not only would the coconuts be within spitting and eyeballing distance of the sand but as you know Blackpool sand has a very fine texture unlike Gobi sand which stinks in comparison.
I see by coincidence you are a supplier of sand and that you can offer me some at very reasonable cost.
Now, YOUR "reasonable" and our shareholders "reasonable" are probably worlds apart so before we can talk business how much would you charge for say 5 tons of your best beach sand and could we have a VAT invoice? As a guide, last year we imported 35 metric ton of genuine Michigan beach sand at a net cost of £135.00 GBP. If your quotation betters this we have ourselves a deal and I will get the ball-rolling at this end ASAP.
Thank you for your time
Martin and Gwen Sniffle Co-Directors Sniffle Coconuts; Wigan.
Company slogan:-
"Coconuts cure all known ills, Coconuts are better than pills! Crack`em, suck-em, then use the husk as an aphrodisiac!!!"
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Re: Canadian Coconut Growers Co-op -- Hamidi Azzizi (rubbing hands in glee),
22/07/06 11:54pm
Martin and Gwen,
Thank you for your kind words.
Before getting down to the loathsome business of money, let me tell you about my sand.
This is no ordinary sand. This sand is guaranteed to make your coconuts grow, because it is already proven. Thats right, its from tropical areas where coconut trees are already flourishing. Shall we say £500 GBP for 35 metric ton of know proven coconut growing sand? And with every ton of sand I'll thrown in a kilo of sausages?
I look forward to a positive response.
Hamidi Azzizi
PS my lawyers did a deal with the judge, publicly the sentence was 10 years, but in reality I served one day, and I agreed to supply the judges meat processing plants with sausage mince at a discount - and still make a profit 8-)
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